


The French Horn

by DVCorvis



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Dalton Academy, Glee Season/Series 02, Healing, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:55:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 36,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23325085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DVCorvis/pseuds/DVCorvis
Summary: Dalton takes a special interest in their new mid-session transfer student: Kurt Hummel, after doing better than expected on their entrance exam.  Dalton who enjoys the prestige of sending students to Ivy League Schools wants to fast-track their new student using an holistic approach and by making Kurt see a counselor, making him take more exams, and asking him to add more CVs.  While Kurt agrees on Dalton’s French Club as a CV, where he really wants to shine is in theater and the only Performing Arts Club  around is the one located at Crawford Country Day School for Girls...meanwhile the counselor that Kurt has been asked to see starts to unravel something dark from Kurt's past.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Story is set in December 2010 and picks up right after Schue comes to see Kurt for gift advice for Sue in S2E10 A Very Glee Christmas  
> My Muse for this story was Kurt’s French Horn tee-shirt. Kurt wore this shirt twice (Power of Madonna and Grilled Cheesus) I wondered if Kurt ever played the horn. Then wondered why he stopped, This story answers both  
> Lastly Kurt Hummel's May 27, 1993 DOB means he started school late or at some point he stayed back a year. In the story Kurt repeated the third grade

**The French Horn**

**Chapter 1 An Unexpected Visit**

Kurt sat back down in the common room - he propped his head up by planting his elbow firmly on the solid oak desk - He was rather chuffed with himself smirking like he had just won the Golden Ticket. But then he then let out long bashful sigh. not believing what he had just done…but just like that he had and in the most candid-as-a-matter-of-fact way possible.

Kurt had admitted to his former teacher that he was in love. But for as bold and progressive a move this was for him, Mr. Schue didn’t stay long enough to hear the boy’s name or how impressively the boy could sing. -NO- Mr. Schuester only came to Dalton for gift advice …and as soon as Kurt said winter tracksuit and where to find one …Schue was turning for the exit.

Kurt convince himself not to dwell on how things had always been kept short between Kurt and his former teacher… He knew he wasn’t Schue’s favorite. Hell, just showing up at Dalton was more than Kurt could bring himself to expect from the man. The difference was rather than dwell on how things were - Kurt now had a growing list of things he could better occupy his mind with- Like his duet with Blaine for one.

Kurt found he could also amuse himself on how in the most extraordinary change of fortunes he had left a school that didn’t much challenge him; not in the least! - and exchanged this for a school that did challenged him almost in every sense of the word. The beauty of Dalton was the rewards kept coming. Gone were the days of dumpster tosses, slushy facials, and Korosfski’s threats - Replaced now with guys who didn’t hate him for “destroying the curve” when he did well on tests. Kurt also felt he had landed in a school where he could ‘be out’ at being both gay and an atheist and he wouldn’t hear the stray derogatory comment come at him from behind his back, but the _crème de la crème_ above all these new found things was that he liked a boy and there were good odds the boy felt the same way back “…Oh crap!!!” Kurt suddenly blurted out. An all together different thought occurred to him. The skeptic in him made him wondered if he was simply imagining the flirting during the duet? There was flirting wasn’t there? Kurt sighed even deeper - He wasn’t sure anymore and yet for the first time in the 17 years of his young life he wanted this to be real and reciprocated.

Maybe it was just that with his growing doubt what also came was the sobering reason why he was still in the common room, alone, and at this late hour - AND this wasn’t to dream about a boy -OR- take a running inventory of changes to his life. - NO - It was instead to play catch up with his classes and this meant he really did not have the time for the beautiful tenor with the hazel eyes.

Kurt’s mid session transfer to an academic prep school meant all but one of his classes were now AP; and these AP classes were not only harder but he also had to start from three modules behind and play catch-up…and then until he caught up he was to remain under ‘Academic Suspension’. Kurt didn’t like this last stipulation because it meant he was off limits to certain of Dalton’s perks - Like off campus privileges and The Library that he had only seen once while on his tour of Dalton. The library was to remain off limits until his academic suspension was lifted. At McKinley the library was the safe zone where the Korosfski’s of the world never dared enter …and it was here Kurt became an avid reader devouring whole reading lists at any given chance …so if Kurt wanted into the library at Dalton - the only answer he had was to work hard at changing this status.

Currently it was Unit 3 of AP World History. History had always been one of Kurt’s better subjects and he would be all caught if not for how Charlemagne was proving dull and tedious.

Kurt cracked his book open to find where he had last left off when he heard his name spoken aloud. Kurt immediately looked up half hoping it would be Blaine asking again for another duet for which Kurt would gladly crater to - It however was Wes Seong.

Wes was a tall good looking Asian senior. The young man’s strong level-headedness meant he was entrusted with the task of being a liaison between the students and the faculty. Kurt addressed Wes only as “Head Warbler” - Kurt would have been just as correct to call Wes in some Harry Potteresque nod 'The Class Prefect’.

Kurt watched as Wes stood there in front of his make-shift work desk looking back-and-forth between the main doorway and then back at him - That was until Wes finally spoke up: "Was that the Director of The New Directions who just left?“ Wes asked with the kind already known assurance that negated an answer. And for Kurt the way Wes asked also left him feeling as if he had broken one of Dalton’s Cardinal rules regarding after hours guests and worse he did so with a rival of The Warblers - And now he was going to hear for it…about both probably.

“Mr. Schuester? Kurt uttered, with a voice that was both wavering and elevated. There was no escaping it, Kurt knew he had been caught. "He just stopped by to say hello and ask about gift advice - I-I did not ask him to come.” - The way Kurt stammered and the way his eyes flashed showed his fear. He didn’t want to screw up so soon - And especially not while academic suspension was being held over his head.

“Relax Kurt. It’s okay. Besides it’s Christmas time…The powers that be here are a lot more relaxed with guest rules.”

“So it’s okay?” Kurt now asked timidly.

Wes smiled - “Yes,” He affirmed. "I only asked because I thought he was the same man who shook my hands at Sectionals. I am actually here on another matter,“ Wes said, shifting his focus to look at Kurt more directly. The worry in Kurt’s stomach remained like a weighted balloon. "Yeah,” Wes said, admitting there was this other thing. “I just had a conference with many of your instructors….they wanted to know how you were doing - They wanted to ask me if I thought being a Warbler was too much for you to handle.”

“What did you tell them?” Kurt asked alarmed that the next words spoken would be asking for him to quit.

“Only that you are as good student as you are a welcome addition to The Warblers.”

“I don’t think I understand, Why ask?” Kurt stated with a frown. "Did any of my teachers think I should quit?“ Kurt asked now visibly hurt.

Wes shook his head a resounding no. "Most of your teachers said they enjoy having you as a student - And they also said how impressed they were at how you were nearly caught up in all your classes.

"What then? What would make them ask that question?”

“I think they only worry that you might burn yourself out”

“I am okay- I can pace myself”

“I believe that. But they did asked for me to check up on you - I would have said no but I also sort of see their point.” Wes suddenly paused, and his shoulders dropped with a sigh. “Blaine as you might know came here under similar circumstances he had to repeat his first year here…he would be a junior same as you…but things happen.”

“Yes, Blaine told me about what happened; and what some guys at his last school did to him.”

Wes winced; he didn’t want to think about what it was like for either boy to be bashed and threatened. Wes instead pulled out a business card and handed it to Kurt Kurt read the name on the card: “Richard Thompson PsyD” he saw M-F hours listed on the back of the card. “Kurt, Dr. Thompson is one of the onsight counselors here - He wanted me to let you know he’s available if you need to talk. He said No hurry just swing by when you get a chance but do stop by.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Nothing that I know about - I think Thompson just wants to let you know Dalton is here for you.”

“You would tell me if there was something else”

“It might be about what happened at your other school, it might also be..,” Wes stopped abruptly and didn’t finish.

“Might be what exactly?” Kurt now demanded.

“As you know Dalton Academy is designed to prepare you for college. Right?”

Kurt half nodded this well known fact

“The way your instructors were talking about you, they said you could just about name your college - Dalton has been known to fast-track students into Ivy League or other colleges with prestige. I sometimes think Dalton lives for boasting rights or something. But if this is what they want - Dr. Thompson would be the man to see about that.

"Ivy League? Me?” Kurt said shaking his head no. Kurt’s heart was set on Julliard, he wasn’t sure what help Dalton could do there. Kurt flipped the business card to look at both sides.

Wes only shrugged his shoulders. "It could only be that he wants to see you as a guidance counselor - he was mine last year.“

"I thought Mr. Allen was my guidance counselor?”

“Allen is good - If it’s about setting up what classes to take and what programs to follow - But Thompson might be a better fit, considering why you are here and everything.”

Kurt now let out groan recalling how… "The last time I was asked to see the guidance counselor it was because Miss Pillsbury saw me with one of her pamphlets on suicide prevention.“

Kurt’s confession caused Wes’s eyes to widened - He had no idea how bad it must have been if killing one self was ever a consideration- Watching Kurt then laugh it off was just as disturbing.

[with a giggle] "I spent the next several weeks in her office trying to convince her I would never have gone through with it, and how I especially would never have done anything like that to my dad.”

“I think you should make an appointment. Trauma is nothing to mess with. When we moved here from San Francisco it was because my mom was car-jacked - it took moving halfway across the country and three years of therapy for her to get enough nerve to leave the house. I think you should at least see Dr. Thompson - See what he wants.”

Kurt silently fumed feeling like whatever the reason he wasn’t really being given an option in any case. He flipped the business card over again to look at the hours listed - concluding that he would go - but only so he could later say he went.

“Are you about finished in here? Wes asked, changing the subject completely. "It’s my turn to lock up.”

Kurt nodded and began gathering up his books - For as much work he still had left to do in World History…he no longer was in the mood for studying.

Some how Wes understood the turmoil that was going off in Kurt’s head. "I wouldn’t sweat it Kurt,“ Wes said with a sympathetic smile. "With what I heard from your teachers - And then I think Miss Perron your French teacher…is itching for you to join the French Club as soon as you can.”

“They’ll have to lift my academic suspension first.”

“Maybe that’s why Thompson wants to see you.”

Kurt left the common room and he headed for the dorms hopeful this was indeed the reason this guy Thompson wanted to see him.


	2. Meeting Thompson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt decides to go see Dr. Richard Thompson after receiving the man’s business card

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Characters"  
> Miss Nicolette Pennor is the name I gave to Dalton’s French teacher in Glee’s S3E5 episode First Time singing and dancing with the Warblers to ‘Uptown Girl’. My story takes place two years earlier when she is an Adjunct French Teacher who also teaches French at Crawford Country Day School for Girls
> 
> Dr. Richard Thompson is an original character. He's a Dalton Alumni who went on to attend Columbia University. He currently holds the position of Dalton’s head counselor.

**THE FRENCH HORN**

**Chapter 2: Meeting Thompson**

It was the very next day that Kurt found himself outside Dr. Thompson’s door. Reluctantly Kurt knocked. “Mr. Thompson???” he calling out to the man inside the office. The man did not look up. Just to be sure Kurt confirmed it was Thompson’s office by looking at the name the office door. He then called out again. "Mr. Thompson? Your card said you would be free.“

The man at last looked up from what he was doing to say: “Ah, yes, do come right in Mr. Hummel,” He watched then as Kurt slowly drudging his feet moved into his office like a man who wanted to be anywhere else. "Please take a seat and I’ll be right with you.“ the man said, then he returned to his filing.

Kurt had entered the office but he stayed on his feet with firm grip on strap to his book satchel that hung heavy on his shoulder. He saw no sense in sitting down if he wasn’t sure how long he would stay. Kurt used the time while he waited to surveyed the office. His eyes were first drawn to a diploma from Columbia University that hung in a place of prominence above Thompson’s desk. The diploma was flanked by an Ohio State License in Psychology and below these two certificates was blue pennant flag with a blue and white lion’s head on it. While Dalton’s school colors were also blue and white, Kurt imagine that much of the blue and white accents seen all about the small office were probably from Columbia and not from Dalton. The office was almost too small to be of practical use but it did appear to have nice leather chairs and a dark English Oak furniture that finished off its vintage-academic look.

“Your card said you’d be free,” Kurt said again. "But if I need me to make an appointment - I’d like to set one up before I go.“

"If you’re free, now is as good a time as any,” The older man replied, still engrossed in his paperwork.

“It’s only my lunch time,” Kurt stated like a glib, off-the-cuff remark. Kurt turned to watching how the Mid-late 40’s man had a systematic way about him - he wondered if this meant the man was going to be stuffy and cold…Thompson appeared warm enough; he looked like an older Anthony Rashad who was still just as attractive only this man was a forty-something. When the man spoke he had bold yet calming voice; one that Kurt imagined if the man sang is voice would be a soft baritone.

Thompson continued to shuffle paperwork sorting them into a neat stacks before filing each stack away in separate folders. He grabbed a different - much thinner folder from the same cabinet and then locked the cabinet all together before shutting the door to his office and sitting down. - Kurt took this opportunity to sit down and let his heavy book bag fall to the floor in front of him with a loud thud.

As soon as they both were seated the man started to answer some of Kurt’s most pressing questions. “Okay, Mr. Hummel - I am pleased you received my request and that you came. I am Dr. William Thompson and before I proceed I would first like to personally welcome you to Dalton Academy and apologize that it wasn’t until now that I could finally meet with you”

Thompson paused with a growing concern on how antsy the young man before him seemed. Kurt was restless; all he wanted to know was why he was there or to be excused all together. He feared the worse and he hadn’t yet heard the actual reason why he was called. As if on cue the man finally answered. "The reason why I called for this meeting,“ The man started to answer. "…is to first let you know that I have been re-assigned as your academic adviser.”

“I thought Mr. Allen was assigned to me?” Kurt stated as his restlessness suddenly morphed into confusion. “Mr. Allen was assigned to you,” Thompson said with a nod. "But you’ll find I serve in a different capacity.” Thomson gave a brief answer, before further clarifying this with “I am the only counselor here that is also a clinician.”

This small tid-bid knowledge didn’t help Kurt much either. “How does that factor in with me?” Kurt asked with the unexpected bluntness that made Thompson sense something was way off with the young man he had only heard good things about.

Thompson on-the-other-hand gave a calm answer. “For starters,’” the man stated. “the series of tests we asked you to take for admissions has triggered the need for another test.”

“Oh” Kurt stated with a feigned smile - “Are you telling me that after two full days of testing - Dalton forgot a test?”

“No, the error in question seems to be The Lima School district - You should have been given this test much earlier. But then when your testing came back it triggered the need for this other test.”

"But I was told I did well on the entrance tests; In fact Allen said it’s why I was allowed to enter the AP Program."

"You did do very well on your tests - that’s what’s at the issue” Kurt remained indifferent…hearing that he did well had its warming effect but he didn’t understand what was being asked of him. Thompson knew he needed to do something to break through to the young man’s guard. “Can I get you something?” Thompson asked, thinking something to drink might do the trick. "…Something to help you relax, a bottle of water perhaps?“

"I guess,” Kurt replied, realizing he was maybe being a little irrational towards the guy - that maybe things weren’t as bad as he imagine them to be. "Sorry I stayed up late last night wondering why you wanted to see me.“

Thomson listens as he opens a small refrigerator and pulls out a bottle of water and hands it to Kurt. Kurt takes the cap off the bottle and takes a sip.

"I figured it was something. I sense that you are confused by the request” The older man said.

“When Wes gave me your card last night - I thought that maybe I was in trouble…I thought you were going to kick me out.”

“Kick you out - With test scores like yours? No, you are as much welcomed here as you deserve a place here.”

“Why make me take another test then?” Kurt asked.

“The request is coming from The Westerville School District. Where I come in is I am Dalton’s only licensed psychologist who can administer this test.”

Kurt tilted his head with a confused frown. “What kind of testing needs a psychologist?” “IQ tests, Psychological tests, In your case it’s a cognitive test called The CogAT."

"Okay - What’s it for?”

“It’s designs to help uncover gifted and talented students such as yourself so we can find better ways to meet your intellectual, social, emotional, and academic needs… It’s been found that gifted students thrive when these needs are meet.”

“So I am not in trouble - you just want inside my head!?!”

“Something like that and you are by no means in trouble. I have met with Mrs. Howell and she has explained to me the need for your transfer… At some later time you and I might visit what happened but we’ll hold off on that for now.”

“Mrs. Howell?” Kurt repeated the name. He had to think long about the name before he realized that Thompson was talking about Miss Pillsbury. 'Pity’ Kurt now thought to himself. He had always imagined that Schue would be the one to walk Miss Pillsbury down the isle not the dentist.

Dr. Thompson continued to talk through. "In our meeting she stressed the seriousness behind your transfer.“

Kurt was now alarmed. Everything else was a blur but this one thing?!? "So you know?” Kurt mumbled, then louder: “I mean, you specifically know all that happened …why-I-had-to-transfer?” Kurt asked fighting the urge to scream or cry he didn’t know which.

“Mr. Hummel you have nothing to be ashamed about what happened at McKinley.” Thompson said trying to be reassuring. "Mrs. Howell’s was very clear, nothing that happened was your fault. It is also my personal hope that now you are at Dalton you will be safe from that sort of toxic environment?“

"Your zero tolerance policy is why I came here…I just thought no one would ever know unless it was me who told them.”

“It is my job to know. So I can best be of service to you. I also like to think of my office as a safe place. No one here but me and my supervisor knows what happened. If anything does happen here at Dalton it will be dealt with swiftly,,,and you can be rest assured that any reporting will be kept confidential.”

“Is that one of the reasons I’m here…to discuss what happened?” Kurt asked.

“Like I said we might visit what happened at some later date. And then as a minor this would ultimately be up to the approval of your parents. But no, the reason why I asked Mr. Seung to give you my card and ask for you to report back here was to go over the results of your testing, and to set up a date that I can administer the a CogAT”

“Is it optional - Like talking about what happened?”

“The test should have been given to you in the third grade, but it’s been looked into The Lima School District has no record of you ever taking it.”

Kurt couldn’t help but remember his third grade. He was 8 it was the same year his mother died. "I repeated third grade,“ Kurt confessed. - "So I must have missed it both times.”

“Now that you are in another district I like to right that wrong… May I ask? - You are a good student - going by your testing scores you are an outstanding student - So I am at a loss to know why you were retained a grade?”

A long silent pause followed before Kurt spoke again. "I missed a lot of school in third grade when my mom got sick,“ Kurt said not looking up, his arms started to close up around himself. "She was getting Chemo in Perrysberg. So often times I went along with her. She didn’t make it… I think she knew that she wasn’t going to make it.” Tears start to form in Kurt’s eyes as he continued. “I think that’s why she like having me around. After she left me and my dad - it took me a while to adjust to not having her around…” Kurt chokes back even more tears and he wipes tears away with the knuckles of his hand. "This is stupid” he proclaimed embarrassed by his own tears.

“This is by no means is stupid Kurt.” Thompson said trying to be sympathetic. He picked up a box of Kleenex from off his desk and hands the box to Kurt. "No age is easy to lose a parent; but being so young?“ Thompson shook his head. “I am sorry for your loss.”

“It’s just that she died 9 years ago and I am still crying like it’s yesterday!”

“No one said there’s a time frame on grieving. Tell me, were you ever assess by a counselor?”

“You mean about mom, yeah, years ago”

“How did that go?” The men now asked.

“Fine, I guess, I don’t think about it much.”

“Have you seen anyone recently?”

“Why?” Kurt asked, wondering what the man was getting at.

“Life’s stresses have a way of bringing old wounds to the surface - you have seen more than your share.”

“I saw Miss Pillsberry last year - but that was over a misunderstanding”

“So what you are saying is you haven’t seen anyone over what brought you to Dalton?”

“There hasn’t really been enough time.”

“I think with the bullying and the threats and then added stress of being away from your family and then for five days out of the week that I think you may benefit from having someone to talk to for support.”

“Do you mean you?”

“Or I can give you referrals. The main thing is that you find support. I like to ask some questions. Will you be okay with that?”

“I guess” Kurt said with a shrug of his shoulders.

The man began. “How do you feel? Do you feel like you’re adjusting here at Dalton, …are you making new friends? …do you like being here?"

Kurt thought each question through before answering. "I do like it here - People have all been nice, and I really like being with The Warblers and most of my friends so far have been from there.”

Thompson intently watched and listen while occasionally made notes about Kurt’s answers vs his body language. “That’s good you are making new friends here,.” the man said, before adding a new set of questions. "What about being away from home; are you struggling with that?“

Again Kurt shrugged "I am glad that I get to go home on weekends but I miss my dad the moment I am heading south on the 75 to come here” Kurt watched Thompson scribble more notes on a chart the man had removed from his file. He could tell Thompson was gearing up for yet even more questions.

"How about being away from friends; do you miss your old school?“

"I don’t miss my old school. I do miss Mercedes and I guess do the rest of the New Directions.”

“Who is Mercedes?”

“She’s my best friend.”

“Do you keep in contact.”

“I try to. - It’s harder now that The New Directions and The Warblers are direct rivals.”

“Mr. Seong stated how much they love having you as a member. He says you have quite the range - That you even helped The Warblers win Sectionals.”

“Wes exaggerates,” Kurt, stated yet he was somewhat moved. He never knew he was thought about so highly by anyone.

“It’s my job as your assigned guidance counselor to insure you have the proper tools needed to make your Junior and Senior years here a success. You are welcome switch back to Allen or any of the three other counselors we have but only after I administer the CogAT - but I think you’ll benefit from meeting with me on a regular basis. There is also the other matter of when you choose a school like Dalton Academy for your junior year. Your junior year here will be the hardest on you academically”

“How so???” If Kurt didn’t already think having to take another test was harsh - hearing that it was going to get harder made him wonder just what had he gotten himself into.

“Why harder?” Kurt asked with a gulp.

“The Junior year is the year college admissions looks back on with regards to financial aid and scholarships - Dalton’s job in all that is to prepare you for college - Your testing results suggest you could realistically choose anywhere including the most highly selective among them. If that is an interest of yours Dalton can meet you half-way get all your testing done ahead of time and so we can free up time for you to meet with prospect colleges.”

“I guess Wes wasn’t kidding about that” Kurt mumbled.

“Sure, all it takes a is dedication and time management and you have already shown you are up to this task…getting caught up in your classes. In record time even… That said I have officially taken you off probation.”

“At last some good news” Kurt exclaimed with a jubilant smile.

“You are now welcome to join other after school activities as long as you maintain your course load…and not fall behind again. Have you thought about which extracurricular you might like to add.”

“Back at McKinney I was also into The Drama Club, The French Club, and Sewing, and Cooking.”

"Sadly of those I think we only have a French Club. Our sister school over at Crawford however does have a full Drama Department - And we’ve been known to put on joint winter and spring productions at Children’s Hospitals and Nursing Homes - In fact I believe that’s how many of the Warblers chose to fulfill their _Mission to Service Requirements_ by singing in Nursing homes. In any case I would like so see at least one or two more CVs”

"How do I sign up for Mission to Service?"

"The Warblers should have a sign-up sheet, but I would check first with Mr. Seong he will know exactly what is required.“

“So am I done here?”

“I had one last thing I wanted go over - but it can wait til later if you want to go to lunch.”

“What was it you wanted going over?” Kurt asked.

“Only that when I was going over your paperwork there were one or two things that I thought should be made clearer - nothing to worry about we can get to them later.”

“I am here what's wrong with now?”

“Let’s see Your middle name. Here you wrote down on your application Elizabeth?”

“That’s because it is Elizabeth,”

“Really?"Thompson asked incredulously.

"Yes really. It was my mom’s twin sister’s name - And it was sort of her dying wish that mom would name me after her… I never met her. I think she died before I was born, It was the same cancer my mom got.”

“This cancer It sounds inherited, It’s not something you need to worry about is it?”

“My doctor says probably not but he also still thinks I should start screening in my 30s as a precaution - Anything else you want sorting?”

“Let’s see I was looking over your transcripts and they are stellar - all ‘As’ except for a ‘W’ in Orchestra during your Freshman Year. Not serious but if an Admissions Board sees that W they may want to to ask about what happened. It is best to have something to say just in case.”

Kurt squirmed uncomfortably in his seat before regaining composure. “No biggie I just dropped out of orchestra is my freshman year.” Kurt’s face however told a different story” It was a cross between hurt, anger, hate, and embarrassment. It was all an act one

Thomson saw through it enough to ask "What’s with the face?“

"Long story…” Kurt said bluntly “I love to hear it.”

“It’s not something I like repeating - All you need to know is I used to play the French Horn in Orchestra but now I don’t anymore.”

“I’d understand if you don’t want to talk about it - But I meant what I said, my office as long as you’re here at Dalton is a safe place. Nothing outside these walls gets repeated.

Kurt Scoffs. "Fine then! My freshman year I was in the orchestra and our first game with Bath we were asked to help the marching band for a half-time show - You know like kind Kent State does?"

Thompson nodded

"And I agreed that I would. I was out on the football field practicing marching - trying to get the counting and turns - but then out of nowhere Football team had gotten together and decided to throw balloons filled with pee at me,” Kurt started now to seethe. “They called me names, they got a little rough. The knew what I was before I did, I got so drenched. Even after my dad paid to have my horn cleaned I couldn’t play it any more I just couldn’t get it out of my head" Kurt started to shake like there was more to the story but all that came out was how the smell of urine everywhere. "...And after all that - Figins didn’t do damn a thing about it.”

“I am sorry, are you saying that no one was punished …for that?”

“I-I didn’t really see who from the team did it. Figins said he wasn’t about to suspend the whole Football team. So yeah nobody got punished for it. All Figins did was make a special concession so I could take a W past the school’s deadline but nothing else was done.”

“You deserved better than the hand you were dealt. It is my hope that now that you are here at Dalton things will start to improve.

"Is there any more you want fixing?” Kurt asked with a defeated laugh.

“No, I think there has been enough for now.”

[Kurt scoffs]

  
“You should give yourself more credit. You have prevailed - Even against this hand you’ve been dealt - It shows you have an extraordinary strength - You also have performed very well on your exams - from here on out if you tap into this there is **NO** reason why you wont be a success here and beyond.” Thompson removed a from Kurt;s folder several papers that had been stapled together. "I am giving you these for your parents to sign discuss it with them then get back… The packet also includes info about the CogAT - What it's for 0 what it measures. I will schedule testing after you return the signed forms. I am also giving you this - It is like an ACE exercise it is to help you decide about going forward with counseling… Do you have any questions for me?”

  
“I guess only the cost - You see my dad and Carol gave up their Honeymoon money just so I could be here. And honestly if this is going to cost them anymore - I don’t think I can go through with it if is't going to cost them for any more money - Maybe if I knew in advance how much its going to be -it might help them make up their mind."

  
"All testing here at Dalton is part of the Tuition. The CogAT is being requested by the district so it is they who will be picking up the cost."

  
"And the counseling?" Kurt asked, swinging his bag over his shoulder and heading for the door.

  
"If you choose to go in house it wont cost you anything. But then if you go to an outside Dalton for Counseling, Dalton is prepare to pay up to 6 sessions anything beyond that I am afraid will be out-of-pocket.”

  
“Okay that sort of narrows it down.”

  
Thompson half chuckles “And?" he asks.

  
Feeling suddenly pressed Kurt answers a bit miffed “Can I at least have the weekend to make up my mind?” 

  
“Yes of course, only I like to get you scheduled to take the CogAT before the Christmas break." Thompson was shaking his head having second thoughts if he should be letting Kurt leave his office so soon "Kurt, my policy is the same if any one thinks they need to stay a little bit longer they are welcome to stay - That is if you think you need some more time. I'm willing to write a pass for your next class."

  
“I’ll be okay”

“Even so my door will be open, and remember Kurt, you are welcome here at Dalton.

"Yeah, yeah.” Kurt replied now opening Thompson’s door. On the other side of Thompson's door was Kurt's French teacher; Miss Pennor. She was standing on the other side of the door mid knock.

“Oh hi Miss Pennor - I was just leaving.

"Sorry Rick, I didn’t realize you would have a student in there." 

"we were just concluding our meeting. What do you need?”

“I am making a Lima Bean run - I know how much you hate the coffee here. I just stopping by to see if you want anything?”

“Soy Latte. Would you like anything Mr. Hummel”

“Naw, I'll pass. But thank you sir. Thanks also for the water, and I guess I'll get it back to you on Monday - About both things I think.”

“I’d like that. Again it has been a real pleasure meeting with you. I think we can do some good here but lets first focus on getting the CogAT behind us...Miss Pennor you will be happy to know I had Mr. Hummel’s suspension lifted and he has express wanting to join the French Club." 

"Très bonne cette nouvelle me rend heureux.” Pennor said, speaking in French to Kurt about how happy she was of the news.

“Merci je suis impatient d'y être le mercredi” Kurt said replying back in French.

Thompson only sat in his chair with an impressed look on his face. He was amazed by the young man’s ease in another language yet sadden that for such a remarkable boy the hand he was dealt had been harsh, He had half a mind to call this Figins up to demand a rational explanation for his gross negligence. But Thompson knew it was better simply knowing Mr. Hummel was now in a better place.

Seeing both men it was Miss Pennor who spoke up “Has Mr. Hummel told you how he sung a 14 minute Celine Dion medley entirely in French at the last National Cheerleading Competition 

"No he hasn’t,” Thompson replied, surprised by the admission.

Yet no one was more surprised than Kurt. “I can’t believe you saw that.”

“I watch every year. I was a cheerleader once - but that was.” Pennor said stopping short of admitting the exact number of years. "a few years ago” she concludes.

“I have to get going nut I will see you Monday” Kurt said, to Thompson and turning to his French teacher he added, “Je te verrai demain” before leaving the office. 

Kurt left Thompson’s office closing the door behind him. He wasn’t prepared at all for what would happen next. 


	3. The Secrets We Keep…From Ourselves If Necessary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt suffers a panic attack after leaving Thompson's office. As he tries to figure out what is going on - a lost memory resurfaces

THE FRENCH HORN  
CHAPTER 3: The Secrets We Keep…From Ourselves If Necessary

Kurt felt his world starting to fold in on itself the moment he stepped outside Dr. Thompson’s office. His hand went to his chest as it tightened - Each step he felt his body become increasingly shaky- more clammy, his legs were like lead! Yet chief among these growing concerns for the epicene young man was the fact that the perspiration dripping from his forehead was now leaching product down his face. For him it was the worst - It meant he had to fight like mad the urge to wipe away the whole mess from his eyes with his sleeve of his wool-blend blazer - If he was in his father’s garage in his work coveralls this would be no problem….

But here at Dalton he still needed his uniform one more day as it was midday Thursday. 'Oh great!' Came his next complaint he was literally dripping now - The junior knew he had to find something to wipe the mess away - but he had nothing, not even a pocket square.

Everything was spearheading into a perfect storm and like added water Kurt had come to an icy cold realization that the last time he felt this badly it was just after learning Korofsky had won his appeal and was returning to McKinley. Kurt knew it made little sense to believe Korofski was behind his current malaise - For one, the guy would never drive two hours out his way just to seek him out when it was more likely the guy would have just move on to another target. Deep down It was Kurt’s personal hope that somewhere in the whole f***ed up mess that Korofski had just found peace with himself - So where did that put him? 

'Stalled' Kurt thought '…stalled by what? fear? Then if fear, what was he was afraid of?' And just like that he was back to square one trying to figure it all out.

"Oh crap," Kurt uttered aloud, finally wiping the mix of sweat and hair product away with the sleeve of his blazer He had to - It had gotten that bad.

Kurt's thoghts went bact to fear. As much as fear made sense to him Kurt quickly ruled this out with the reasoning that fear was something he should have had before meeting with Dr. Thompson not afterwards. Yet looking back at Thompson’s closed office door the boy knew Thompson was the only thing different in his routine - So what was it about him?

'Maybe it was it bringing up his mother’s death and because of this having to stay back a year when he was in the third grade?'

‘Maybe, but - NO!’ Kurt even shook his head all together ruling out any notion this could be the case. There had been countless times he had shared not having a mom - and sure this often bought back heart ache and tears - What he couldn't do was recall a time this ever made him feel this physically ill. So what was it?

Kurt’s head started to swim with racing thoughts he didn’t want. If he were at home right about he was sure nothing at all would be stopping him from numbing his thoughts with alcohol – His Aunt Mildred’s variation on a Tom Collins that entailed mixing prosecco with gin came to mind. “Except news-flash Kurt,” Kurt made a harsh point to informed himself. “You only just came off probation…Something like getting drunk at Dalton is not just dumb but you’ll surely get yourself put back on academic probation or worse get yourself expelled.’ This self-admonishing only made things worse and he still wasn’t any closer to knowing what it was exactly that was making him he feel like crap and he was running out of ideas.

The only thing Kurt knew looking at his watch was that the lunch hour had almost slipped away completely without him eating a thing. This revelation made Kurt giggled with a sad laugh - ‘Was is it really that simple? Was this only because he had skipped a meal?’ He of course remembered when he and Mercedes were in The Cheerios and how Mercedes face planted in the middle of the cafeteria’s from not eating. Low blood sugar now seemed plausible and it had a lot of the same symptoms. This was enough to point his feet in the direction of the cafeteria in hopes that this late the dining hall would still be open. Kurt quickened his steps fearing this would indeed be the case.

Just as he expected- Only the cleaning crew was in the hall. Gone was everyone else. He walked past a crew bussing tables with what dishes still remained on his way to the cafeteria itself only to find the cleaning crew had already switch off the heated buffet tables and removed the food trays leaving nothing but lukewarm baths of water. Even the salad bar had been gutted…but what really sucked was The desert case had been completely emptied out he could have totally gone for comfort-food in the wondrous baked pastry form.

“I’m not going to catch a break am I?” It was a loud enough statement for him to start to fume. That was until one of the headphone wearing cleanup workers stopped and pointed out the three tiered basket display at the end of the counter.

“Thanks,” Kurt said acknowleging the worker,

The worker only nodded and rolled his mop bucket out of Kurt’s way.

The worker was right - It hadn’t been cleared out yet. Five weeks of being at Dalton Kurt knew Sandwiches had always been placed in the bottom basket, chips and pretzels in middle basket, and fruit in the top basket. ‘It would have to do,’ He told himself as he rifled through saran wrapped sandwiches. Only here too he found his run of bad luck had continued because every single last one of them was Ham and Cheese sandwich - Kurt uttered an "Ugg" tossing back the last of the lot he had looked at - He absolutely loathed processed deli ham he found it too salty and that emulsified gelatin sort of grossed him out. If it was to be ham he preferred a slow cooked ham leg that had been properly cloved or pork tenderloin medallions glazed in a sesame ginger sauce and then that had been grilled to perfection …and then he would never ruin it ny adding cheese. His stomach growled thinking of food wanted yet didn’t seem to be catching any luck in acquiring.

He knew it was his own damn fault He should have eaten first and then gone to see Thompson - ‘actually,’ Kurt thought internally correcting himself - ‘He shouldn’t have gone to see Thompson at all - That way he never would have spilled the beans and made himself feel like crap now…Now was that really what was wrong?’

‘Oh crap,’ He knew now. While it bothered him that any additional meeting with Thompson he would end up letting the man know everything - What was really bothering him; the brass tacks of it all, was the risk of his dad finding out all the things he kept from him. It would kill him. Suddenly Kurt wasn’t hungry anymore he tossed back the bag of sun chips before picking it up again plus an apple from the top basket. Kurt knew it would be six hours until dinner service.

Kurt quickly departed the food area to find a seat the worker with his mop moved in behind Kurt to mop the floors like they had been only waiting for him to leave.

Kurt tried not to let this too bother him the guy after all pointed out the chips….but the thin irony of it all was feeling like every last thing in the world was eating at him while he went without anything to eat himself.

Kurt was just about to sink his teeth into his apple when he heard Blaine call out for him. And as much as he was secretly crushing hard on the black haired boy with the killer tenor voice the last thing Kurt wanted was for Blaine to see him like this - So exposed, so vulnerable with his heart pounded in his chest like something was terribly-terribly wrong. Blaine called to Kurt with a tone that was both happy and relieved to see him. “So it’s true -Trent said he saw you in here. I totally looked for you everywhere during lunch.”

“Except where I was,” Kurt blurted, before instantly regretted it. He didn’t know why he said it out loud. “I had to see Dr. Thompson.” Kurt now said, offering up the truth.

The explanation alone gave Blaine pause. He knew Dr. Thompson and how most at Dalton liked the man- It was just as well known how many emerged from his office in tears either because they had lost their scholarship or because they had to see Dr. Thompson in the capacity of the school’s psychologist…given his own bout with the man and how similar Kurt’s situation mirrored his own it was much too likely this was how it was with Kurt now but it wasn’t until Blaine actually looked at Kurt did his happy go lucky demeanor change… “My God, are you alright? - It looks like you’ve been crying"

“It’s nothing,” Kurt said defensively blowing off the question.

Blaine wasn’t about to buy Kurt’s write-off noting how he could “Totally see your eyes”

Totally Caught, Kurt was now back-peddling his way back. “What I meant was, I don’t want to talk about it and I kind-of want to be alone right now” this much was true.

Blaine frowns… ”Fine,” he says, after a beat of feeling stunned. But then he adds “But let me at least tell you why I was looking for you.”

All Kurt had to do was look at Blaine sitting in front of him hazel eyes looking like a lost puppy for him to cave. “Okay - You win. Why were you looking for me?”

“I got comp tickets for my King’s Island gig - Dad called right after our duet in the Commons Room - He has to fly to New York on business so he can’t go.” Blaine sets a King’s Island admissions ticket down on the table and pushed it towards Kurt - It’s yours if you want it” then he adds with a high brow flourish Call it a Thank You for our practice session last night” Blaine returns back to common speech for the details “The plan is Mom is gonna pick me up Friday to drive me there. We’ll probably stay a couple nights in Cincinnati and come back on Sunday”

Kurt silently cursed the rotten timing of how in a heartbeat he would go see Blaine and spending two nights in a hotel with Blaine? …In the same room? Kurt was kicking himself. “I-I cant,”‘ Kurt said, biting his tongue in protest. “Friday is dinner night - I also have these damn papers my dad needs to sign.”

“What are those?” Blaine asked, suddenly taking notice of the stack of papers sitting on the table next to Kurt’s arm.

“One is for a test I need to take…” Kurt trails off “The others…” Kirk’s voice breaks and wavers as he starts over… “The others are because Thompson thinks I should see someone over what happened”

Blaine was nodding knowingly. “Yeah, he was like that with me last year…But he’s good. He’ll listen…But…you don’t want to hear that do you?” Blaine saw Kurt didn’t seem to be listening.

“It’s not that, not really - It’s complicated - It’s why I have to go home when I so much rather go with you and not have to bothered with this - It’s just horrible timing and rotten luck. And - I am sorry”

Blaine shook his head, Kurt’s apology wasn’t needed - He knew he would have no trouble finding another to go in Kurt’s place. It was that he was just as sorry it wouldn’t be Kurt joining him.. He also heard the hurt in Kurt’s voice so he knew it wasn’t out of personal choice. It was why he hesitate to go any further talking about Thompson or his King’s Island gig - Instead the first words out of his mouth are only about the test. “Haven’t you taken enough tests? - I mean when I came here I didn’t have it anywhere near as bad as you had it” he looks again at the stack of papers and corrects himself saying: “….still have it”

“That’s because you came here as a sophomore” The voice seemed to come out of nowhere. Both boys look up to see that Wes was now standing at the table’s edge. Wes was still talking “Kurt came here as a junior, and everybody here knows that’s the year they get you: SATs, Subject Tests, AP Exams….” Kurt’s eyes had widened hearing what still remained. He had heard it once before from Thompson but now he was hearing it again from a second source. 

Wes switches to a more personal note with Kurt and asks “Did everything go ok with Dr. Thompson?”

“Yeah, he just wanted me to take some cognitive test” Kurt answered, deliberately stopping short of repeating the bit about Thompson also wanting him to seek counseling.

“Very well. You boys need to finish up here and get to class.” Wes starts to walk away before turning back. Oh, and don’t forget we have a double practice meeting today.”

“Through dinner?” Kurt asks with the kind tone in his voice that would let anybody know he wouldn’t liking the answer if it was to be 'yes.'

Blaine was already jumping to Kurt’s defense. “He’s kidding!” Blaine exclaimed, placing a comradic arm around Kurt’s neck like they both in were in sync while he emphatically added: “We’ll be there!”

Wes raised an eyebrow but he was also a perceptive young man, he knew enough to guess what was behind Kurt’s objection. With a shrug he said. “We’ll order pizza like we always do when our practice cuts through dinner”

It was just enough to make Kurt reply with a simple relieved “Oh?”

“Now you two should really get to class. The Warblers have a reputation to up hold.”

“What kind of test did you say?” Blaine asks wondering if he would be someday be taking the same test.

“It’s called the CogAt - Apparently I was supposed to have already taken it. But I never did. That’s Public Schools for you - gotta love that attention to detail.”

“You’re smart,” Blaine insists like it’s known statement of fact.. “You’ll probably ace it”

“I’m not that smart” Kurt said dismissing the comment. He had heard it all before. It did nothing but made him feel like more was exspected.

“Yeah, you kind-of are,” Blaine reaffirms with a warm smile that could melt butter. “It’s one of the things I like best about you.”

Kurt manages a halfway smile. He hated being thought as smart but at least he loved it when Blaine flirted – Like one day there could be something there.

“Well, you heard the man,” Blaine said, standing up.

“Where to?” Kurt asked, also getting up out of his seat and placing his paperwork in his satchel along with his apple and unopened bag of chips.

“I have Algebra” Blaine answered, promptly. “You?”

“World History - I actually think today might be the day I am finally caught up with the class.”

“You’ve been working on that hard enough.”

Kurt pursed his lips now - He wasn’t sure if what Blaine said was meant to be a jab or not.

Blaine was already sheepishly offering a correction. “What I meant to say is I hope whatever it is getting you down - I hope it passes”

Kurt drew a hard breath trying to hide his feelings he managed to nod.

The boys left the dining hall not saying much else. They proceeded down two long corridors to the section of Dalton where the classrooms were. Kurt watched Blaine turn down the maths wing “I’ll see you after class,” Blaine said, with one last look back. He then proceeded turning the door knob to his math class and walking in.

As the door closed Kurt suddenly knew he was never going to make it to history… He went straight to the nearest bathroom to throw up the contents of his stomach which under the circumstances wasn’t a whole lot. When he finally had stopped he washed his face. He looked up from the sink, to the mirror mounted above it not at all liking the young man in the mirror staring back at him. Not even a little.

Maybe it was because he was in a restroom - maybe it was because he was dripping with perspiration…or maybe simply after two years it was bound to resurface but standing there looking at himself in the mirror Kurt’s memories came flooding back and covering his face he began to sob.

The pee filled balloons didn’t end with him being chased off the football field - No, That was where it began - It started back up again after the jocks followed him into the same bathroom.


	4. Seven against One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt's panic attack opens a window into a past memory of his that had buried for two years. Keeping what really happened the day of the 'Pee Balloon Incident' from his dad becomes Kurt's number one goal - A goal he's not sure if Dalton's psychologist shares the same desire to keep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is probably the most graphic this story ever will get and is why I gave it a M rating. That said it has depictions of high school bullying and the use of homophobic slurs may still be triggers for some.
> 
> Story is also flash back to 2008 Finn, Puck, and Shane are freshmen at this point in time. Finn also admitted he was part of the Pee Balloon Incident **yet wasn't** there when Kurt's lawn furniture was nailed to Kurt's roof.
> 
> Brad The Piano Man gets a very minor shout out in this chapter. It is my head canon and consequently why he was always around for someone to say "hit it" to was that he was McKinley's music teacher/director who taught Orchestra, Jazz Band, and Marching Band.

**THE FRENCH HORN  
CHAPTER 4: SEVEN AGAINST ONE**

**Flashback to October 2008**

After being chased off the football field and doused with several pee filled balloons all Kurt wanted to do was wash up and change his clothes. Kurt was a freshman, he hadn't been at McKinley all that long - but it had been long enough to develop a habit of always bringing a second set of clothes to school. Most days it was because of being thrown into dumpsters. Today the need was different, today his current clothes were drenched in urine. Kurt thought he was alone but the football team had seen which bathroom he entered and followed him in. They took his Horn first....

"Please," Kurt begged. He walked backwards as one after another filed into the bathroom. "I don't want any trouble." he added.

"It's too late for that, Casper." The apparent leader said, seeming to relish both cornering his victim and calling him "Casper" for the boy's paleness. "Block the exit,"- he ordered next, then more slowly with a threatening gaze at the cornered freshman he added, "Make sure no one gets in _...or out._ " It was clear the last bit was meant to terrorize the freshman. The ringleader was relishing every moment.

Kurt's eyes flashed with worry; if their leader wasn't scary enough there were seven of them, he counted just to be sure. The odds that were not in his favor only worsen now they had blocked the only way out. Kurt's eyes naturally gravitated back to the football team's apparent leader. Kurt watched unable to do a thing as this older boy fiddled with the latches on his horn's case until it was open and the horn was free.

This lead boy was Kyle Daniels; He was hypermasculine senior who took sadistic pleasure in torturing misfits and underclassmen. He was also the team captain on several of McKinley's contact sports and chief among them was his current hat of being the quarterback of the Varsity Football Team.

What made Kyle Daniels even more of a menace was he knew he could get away with absolutely anything simply because his parents worked for the school's district and could get others to look the other way... But when you added in how their son's athletic prowess brought interest to the school - if he happened to then involve others from the football team, they too were off the hook.

"Give me back my horn!" Kurt insisted.

"Or what?" The older boy mocked.

"j-just give it back" Kurt repeated, this time with a stutter that only came from being backed into a corner and terrified. . "Look whatever I d-did I'm sorry I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding." Kurt knew that being out numbered meant he wasn't getting out unharmed, but he didn't think his horn should suffer. "l-l just want my horn" Kurt stutters again.

It was a stutter Kyle was only too happy to mimic "Y-You want this?" he says lifting the horn well out of Kurt's reach. The older boy smiles by how much his six-foot-two statue towers over the five-foot-four freshman and he laughs as the younger boy's efforts to jump are futile at the same time the senior quickly gets bored of it all and thinks maybe a 'keep away' game involving his players would be better.

"Here catch," Kyle says throwing the horn first to an equally tall freshman named Finn.

Finn easily catches the horn but he doesn't want hold 'the heavy awkward metal thing' so he hands off it immediately to another freshman named Puck who lobs it over to Shane who tosses it too one of the senior players there who then lobs it back to Kyle...They continue at this until it's the horn's owner who goes wary.

"Come on guys," Kurt wines. "Give it back."

"Awwwwe he wants us to give it back. Well it doesn't work that way.".

"I am open," Puck says distancing himself to the further end of the bathroom..

Kyle laughs even harder - Out of the three new varsity recruits Kyle was most amused by his new wide-receiver. He finds many of his antics were on par with his own. "Go long Puck" he orders.

Puck follows the order but misses the catch. He watches the horn crash against the wall behind him and fall to the ground with its mouth piece popping off on impact and then rolls to a stop. "Whoops," Puck says with a laugh..

Kyle laughs even harder "Hey, you broke it. Good job!" .

"That was a Conn-Selmer you imbecile!" Kurt says wiping away more than tears. He stood surrounded by football players unable to get to his horn and knowing it most likely dented from the fall. Tears well up because he knew even for a two income family horn it was expensive: $750 used he recalls - But more importantly was the why his dad bought it for him that makes him tear up. It was because his mom was sick and could no longer take him to ballet. It was because being a horn player instead of a dancer he would be staying closer to home. But what it was mostly It was and what his dad could not yet bring himself to admit all those years ago was that his son's mother was dying. 

"Well it's a piece of shit now," Puck informed.

"And, and you're a jerk - No, wait I'll take that back, Every fucking last one of you are."

"Whoa, who knew the homo had such a potty mouth." Puck states, he's taken aback yet he's more amused that the kid actually still had fight in him.

"Bring it here Puck, I got an idea" Puck follows through picking up both pieces. Kyle only takes the mouth piece.

"What are you going to do?" Finn asks, seemingly worried now that they may have gone too far.

Kyle wasn't moved. "Watch and learn." he says walking into one of the bathroom stalls. He dunks the mouth piece several times in the toilet and comes out with it dripping from his fingers. "Potty mouth meet the potty - Get it?" He then walks back to Kurt "Now open wide." .

Kurt couldn't believe this. He closed both his mouth and eyes as tightly as he could and yet seven against one - he knew he would lose in the end.

Sadistically Kyle pressed the mouth piece against Kurt's lips as he watched the tears pouring down the freshman's face as he did. it only made the senior want press harder and use the piece itself to pry the boy's mouth open.

All Kurt could do was wondering what the hell he must have done to deserve this but even that was a losing battle... sometimes bullies just are.

"Make him!" Kyle now ordered, his aggression worsening by the minute by how much the freshman was resisting his efforts.

"Come on the guy's had enough," Finn speaks out again. He was only there because he was practically assured the quarterback position was his after Kyle. He wanted it badly but not seven against one badly.

Kyle was already looking for someone else to do his bidding. "Puck ? Shane? Anybody? Look Tenaka lets me have final say on who gets on the team or not.. And I must say other than Puck here you all have been a disappointing failure - This isn't about me it's about loyalty to the team."

Not one of the freshmen wanted to step up... Instead it's one of the juniors in the room that does. He grabs Kurt's chin and upper face and forces the mouth open.

"I figure If this piece of shit going to be a cock-sucker the rest of his life he should get use to this." he says shoving the mouth piece in and rolling it over Kurt's tongue and then simulating a blowjob.

"See, he's a natural. He'll probably get a hard-on - That is if he even has a dick." he asks pulling the mouth piece out so the freshman can answer. "Do you?"

"Yeah, how can we be sure he's not one of those she-hes" Puck adds feeling rather chuffed with his comment...It was all about maintaining his place on the varsity team.

To compete with Puck, Shane feels he now has to also say something "I even heard that when he sings he sounds like a girl - that's not right.".

Even Finn feels the same need to 'step up'. "He sure cries like a girl" .

"There's only one way to find - let's pants the guy".

Kurt tears were now falling freely.

"Somebody hold him while I take his pants down".

Finn has second thoughts the moment he hears what's next in store for the guy. "Guys, I don't think we should be doing this" Only he shows his true colors when his stated reason comes more from a place out self preservation. "What if coach finds out?" .

Kyle rolls his eyes...with a smug detachment. "Please, if Coach Tenaka knew we were in here he'd be joining us making sure this little dweeb knew his place - To re-illiterate and this goes for all you not just the freshmen- If you want on the team as your team captain you gotta do what I say..

"I thought you said it wasn't about you?"

"It speaks - You're new here so maybe you don't know but here at McKinley the whole school worships me I am the god damn quarterback - I got 7 offers for when I graduate

"Big deal you're still an asshole."

"What did you just call me?"

Kurt remained silent not saying another word"

"That's what I thought….boys!" He said directing for two of the players to hold him while punches the freshman in the stomach. He punches so hard that Kurt doubles over dead weight and falls to his knees

"That's for calling me an asshole."

"You said we weren't going to hurt him."

"Does he look hurt to you?" he smugly asks Finn, then turning and pointing at Puck "Do you?" and then over at Shane "You?" "I guess you're the only one Finn. Now lets get him back on his feet so we can pants this little faggot/"

Over and over in his head Kurt was repeating 'This isn't happening, this isn't happening' then silently screaming 'No!' when he knew his pants and underwear were around his ankles.

"Well, would you look at that he is a boy after all" Kyle teased

"I didn't do anything to you"

"That's where you are wrong faggot" Kyle said with his index finger drilling into the freshman's chest. "You don't belong on our field - I don't care what Brad the band teacher wants you spell on the field - Come this Friday's game with Bath - I don't want you even in the stands. -:Capisce?" Kyle continued to poke his finger into Kurt's chest. Each time Kurt winces.

"Kyle," Finn stared him down. "I said he's had enough."

"Still?" Kyle looks at Finn in utter disgust. "I thought you were one of us Finn. I thought you wanted my quarterback position after I graduate?.

"And what happens if he runs tells Figgins what we've done?" Finn asks.

"Won't happen - And you wanna know why? Because he knows we'll beat the shit out of him if he does. - So what's it going to be faggot?"

"just give me back my horn I won't say anything"

"That's what I thought. Now go run home crybaby, run to mommy - Oh wait that's right you don't have a mommy do you."

*******

**December 2010, Present day**

Kurt was letting out a loud gasp of air - Like coming up for air after a long deed water dive. - With the same ringing in the ears that comes from too much aspirin - This was what he was afraid of - Being so ashamed by what had happened he couldn't tell his father about it or how he came so close to...he didn't want to think about it.... and he was sure if his dad found out it would kill him.

*******

Thompson was quietly enjoying his soy latte when he heard a knock. He looked up from his desk announcing "I am open" It was the school's head nurse who entered.

She was a typical uniform wearing school nurse: A pleasantly plump forty-something woman with a couple stands of graying hair around her temples, a pair of reading glasses hanging around her neck on a beaded lanyard that was probably lovingly made by a daughter or niece. "Is it true you saw Mr. Hummel today?" she asks with an accompanying smile.

Thompson finally sees her although he hasn't heard a thing she has said to him yet. "Ah Nurse Ellen. How may I help you?"

"Is it true you saw Mr. Hummel today?" she repeats her question.

Thompson prided himself on professionalism in what he could and could not say "I can't give you details of that, but yes he saw me" Dr. Thompson looks at the clock on his wall to be sure "A little more than an hour ago...Why?"

"He has asked for you." The nurse continued.

"has he?"

"He's in the infirmary"

"Shit," He pushes his rolling chair back and gets up from his seat. "I was worried something like this would happen," Thompson pauses; he realizes he doesn't actually know a thing about what had happened, so he asks. "Ahhh...what has happened exactly? Is he alright?"

"It looks like what probably happened was an anxiety attack - Can't be sure - but he was found by a student practically inconsolable in one of the restrooms."

As distressing as this was Thompson tried to remain calm about it. "How is he now?"

"He has calmed down, his blood pressure has returned to normal but it had been as high as 130/90 when he first came in but..." It's now the head nurse that pauses. "There's something else that has me worried. I was triaging Mr. Hummel and I noticed his upper arms and his back are covered in bruises some look fairly recent."

"He was bullied at his last school. It's why he's here. Did you call his parents?"

"Mr. Hummel requested that you would be the one to call them."

A puzzled look washed over Thompson's face.

"Is that a good sign? Calling for you like this?"

"I'm not actually sure ...I believe we've only seen the tip of the iceberg with this kid."

*******

Thompson followed the nurse to Dalton's infirmary to where Kurt was propped up by pillows on a cot. 

"So you came," Kurt said, realizing the face he saw entering the room was Thompson's. 

"I shouldn't have let you out of my sight," the counselor answers. "But I am here for you now. Do you want to discuss what happened?"

"Not especially" Kurt was pretty firm an this. He didn't want to start bawling allover again.

"May I check your vitals?" Thompson indicated Kurt's wrist which Kurt holds out. Thompson takes Kurt pulse. looking at his watch favorably. "If you could rate how you felt 5 being worse where would you put yourself?"

"Now or back in the bathroom?" Kurt quips.

Not moved by the quip either way he asks sincerely "Which ever one you feel like telling me will be fine."

"I guess a 4 now - but It was a 15 back in that bathroom"

  
"Was this your first panic attack or have there been others?"

"I don't really know Maybe"

It's common. The not remembering. I think if might be our body's way of coping. Was it what we discussed or is there something else"

"There's more, a lot more."

"Like how your back is covered in bruises"

Kurt shook his head no. "Right now you are all I have - I want to know if I can trust you."

"Well about that. There's a reason I gave you those papers for your parents to sign. You are a minor. I came because I feel responsible but your parents have final say on how you are to be  
treated."

"I don't want my dad to know how bad it's been. He's sick; he just had a stroke - Carol, she's my step-mom, and she's a nurse so It has been a relief knowing she's around to take care of my dad, but I think it he found out everything that went down it would kill him - I don't want him to know - I don't want to tell you anything about what happened until you can promise me that you won't say anything to my Dad or to Carol."

"Does he at least know about the bruises on your back?"

"No...I think only you and the nurse do - Sure I think there might be some kids at McKinley who know something. A lot of them watched and did nothing every time I was being thrown into the dumpsters or tossed into the lockers. ...If dad knew everything" Kurt started to whimper takes a gulp of air to stop. "What I tried to do...I honestly believe it would kill him. I figured since I will be 18 this May I can give my own consent

"As mature an adult you sound let me remind you where we are here.,,and if you're hinting at what I think you are..."

"So you are not going to do it?" Kurt questions, and it effectively cuts Thompson off 

"I didn't say that. Look I am prepared to keep anything we discuss confidential - Providing you are not a threat to yourself or anyone else. I am even willing to compromise providing you can demonstrate that without their support that you have alternatives in place for coping. Someone like a priest, or Clergy..." he looks at Kurt because there hadn't been any acknowledgment yet "or Rabbi? still nothing?"

"I am kind of at an impasse here. Do you have any secular ideas?"

"You could sign up for a Group"

"Aren't those all god based?"

The Doctor finally catches on "I don't really know. But I am sure we can find something non religious for you. And I'll still would like for you to provide me with your parents approved consent to meet with me"

"That's hardly a compromise, they still get know I am seeing some one and will pry every day until I cave."

"Not just my condition, the school's too. Now about the bruises on your back .. I need to know if anyone here did that to you?"

"It wasn't anyone here" Kurt insisted.

"Is that the truth?"

"Yes sir" Kurt practically saluted. 

"I have to ask. And you've been here, what? ...five weeks? The way Nurse Ellen explained it she said some of the bruises appear recent"

"It's my skin, I bruise easily - and it sometimes takes forever for them to go away. I am not lying to you - It happened when Karofsky last threw me into the lockers."

"Okay. What brought you in here?

"Not until you say that you won't be telling my dad."

"Are you going to at least listen to my recommendations for treatment, bring me back the paperwork I asked for"?

"Yeah, to both" Kurt agreed.

"Then if you can I like to hear what's going on. You can take your time. Just let me know how I can best help you"

*******

Kurt repeated the story stopping several times to wipe tears away.

*******

"This boy how much older was he that you?"

"He was 17 - I was 15 - He stopped bullying me right after got his full ride from Texas A & M, I think…It might have been Louisiana State. I was just happy to see the back of him but then in my sophomore year Karofsky and Azimio started in on me"

"You know I am legally obligated to file a sexual battery report with the state"

 **"You can't do that!"** Kurt loudly exclaimed. Then with a wine added "My dad will find out for sure. And if he knew Finn was there..." Kurt didn't want to think how this would put a strain in his father's relationship with Carol.

Thompson shook his head like he missed something. like how up until that point there had been no mention of a Finn. "Who is Finn?"

"He's my step-brother. He was there -only I don't think he wanted to be. I think Kyle was hazing the new football players

"This wasn't hazing this was a mob mentality bulling. And it certainly doesn't excuse any of them who were there for not coming forward."

"I don't wish for Finn or Puck to get into any trouble. They both said sorry and I forgave them both."

"Can you answer if this was your only run in with Kyle or the other football players hr has there been more?"

That same night after they did what they did...they came by and egged the house they also put a flaming bag of dog shit at the door. Then they stopped by again after they lost to Bath and nailed our lawn furniture to the roof. At school they stepped up their attacks this was mostly name calling, throwing slushies at my face, tossing me into the dumpsters, and throwing me into lockers it was still bad just never got as bad as that time in the bathroom. I dropped everything. All my clubs, I stopped going to choir. I obviously stopped going to orchestra. I started hiding out in the library so they wouldn't find me.

"Do you still have your horn?"

"I don't know - I didn't see it during the move - We recently moved into a bigger house."

"I am going to start you on cognitive-behavioral therapy" He looks up at the nurse "and I'd like to prescribe Hydroxyzine if we have any."

"Between the mosquitoes and the ragweed do you even have to ask?" The nurse walks away into an area where several locked cabinets were.

Thompson turns to Kurt once again. "And i'd like it if you start a journal."

"I'm already keeping one" Kurt says, as a matter of fact.

"Of course you do...all the bright one do." but another thought perks the counselor's interest, "Going back how far?"

"Since the third grade - The first time through."

"Do you find it helps?"

Kurt shrugged his shoulders "I think it does,"

"Good, keep it up"

The nurse returns with two small paper cups one with a two tone green capsule and the other with water. She hands them both to Kurt.

"Nurse, I will also be excusing Kurt from his afternoon classes."

Kurt looks at the capsule in the bottom of the cup. "What is this again?"

"Hydroxyzine," Thompson replies, then explains. "It's a mild anti-anxiety medication, and as Nurse Ellen pointed out it can be used for allergic rhinitis. I am starting you off on 25mg if we need to I will increase the dose."

"Why did you gave Wes your card. Did I do something to set you off"

"Well there was the district request for the CogAT. That's what got you into my office - But I also saw that you were stressed. My evaluation of you told me there was more than just your course load."

"So nothing I did"

"The only thing you did was performed very well on our entrance exam. It has a few people here on edge. They want to know why the system failed you. That you should have been in a gifted program, Now that you're here We would like to help you."

"Help me how?"

"Every year Dalton chooses five candidates. Five Juniors we feel that best illustrate the core beliefs held here at Dalton. If you are chosen and wish to go the extra mile we will work with you at getting your testing out of the way so you will free yourself up for interviews. We will work on your behalf at every step, and If we have to send you to another state to conduct an interview Dalton will provide for that too."

"Dalton going to do that even though I'm messed up?"

"You are not to blame for all that has happened to you."

"I wish I could believe that."

"You will - but lets first work on getting you the tools you'll need to make that a happening. As for right now I think you should try to get some rest. The Hydroxyzine should help" Thompson called for the nurse again "Nurse Ellen?"

"Yes Doctor?"

"You wont mind if Mr. Hummel continues to rest in here will you?"

"Not at all. But my shift ends at 7', I'll ley yjr night nurse know if he's still here at 7."

"Call me if there's any change." "Don't be so hard on yourself. this wasn't your fault. Now please get some rest."

*******

Kurt was still in the infirmary when he woke up. He could believe the time. If the clock in the wall was anywhere near correct it was 5:37 - The first half of the Warblers double practice meeting was well underway. Kurt thought Wes would kill him and he would do this with the backing of the the counsel. He would become the benchmark of all nefarious Warbler talk for years to come. Kurt still had to go. It was a double practice and at least he would be there for that. He made it to the common room and spotted Wes...he would somehow make him understand. The closer Kurt got the more Wes sounded upset but it wasn't at him....It was about The Twelve Days of Christmas???

"I told you already - That isn't how the song goes" Wes said angrily.

"I have the lyrics right here and it says calling birds"

"Well, mine says Colly Birds - that's how we're performing it" Wes insisted.

"What' the hell is a Colly bird?" the other Warbler asked.

I don't know but the song is for Four **_Colly_ ** Birds and that's how we're going to sing it"

"A Colly Bird is either a pigeon or a blackbird depending on if you think 12 Days of Christmas is French or English."

"Riiiiiiiight," the Warbler says, incredulously drawing out his vowels while also not having a clue or whether Kurt was correct or not.

Wes didn't know if it was correct either he was just glad it gained the compliance he was after. "Thanks Kurt," he said.

Wes?" Kurt calls back. "You got a second?"

"Sure what is it?"

"First, I am very sorry that I'm late,"

"It is okay Kurt I knew at lunch you weren't feeling well. It happens"

Kurt's eyes now flashed with worry. "Did somebody tell what's going on?"

"No, no I saw it in your face"

"Good - I thought maybe Dr. Thompson had said something to you...he didn't did he"

"I did see him. He asked about you, he wanted to know if I thought anybody here might be giving you any trouble"

"Damn it - I told him it happened at McKinley"

"What did?"

The bruises on my back..I told him they are from the last time Karofsky threw me into the lockers. They haven't healed yet."

I'm so sorry about that. But for the record Dr. Thompson he doesn't tell me everything...He just wanted to know if I thought any one was giving you any trouble."

Just then the common room was broken with he announcement that the **"Pizza is here!"**

It was all Kurt needed to hear to make think of nothing else but food. "I am so hungry I haven't eaten a thing all day" he admitted before joining the queue for pizza. when it was his turn he grabbed a plate and placed two slices of pizza on his plate he left to find a seat on the leather couch. Wes have followed him to his seat.

"Was there something you wanted to say before the pizza arrived?" Wes asked catching Kurt mid bite.

"Only that, excuse me." Kurt sets his slice of pizza back down on his plate and finishes chewing. "I wanted to say that you were right about being fast-tracked."

Really? So you're one of the five?

"Not yet but I am in the running. Thompson talked about getting all my testing done and out off the way so I can be freed up to interview with colleges - Oh and he also lifted my academic suspension."

"I am so happy for you Kurt- I didn't want to day anything the other night. And your suspension lifted too - That should you if need to go off campus during school hours."

"Thompson also mentioned I have to add more CVs and that you are the one to see about the 100 hours of community service I need to do before graduation."

"Only if it's Warbler related. But whatever it ends up being it still has to go through the three of us on counsel - So it's not just me who decides."

Kurt looked confused, "Thompson only mentioned you." 

Wes raises an eyebrow. "Why would he say that? What was it?"

"I want to sign up for the joint Winter production with Crawford"

Wes paused for a minute before answering. His lips curled downward into a frown letting Kurt know the news wouldn't be favorable. "Sorry Kurt but Crawford only leaves us 8 openings and from that Dalton seniors who still need to make their hours get first crack. They go quick. You are welcome to sign up for Spring but then we usually only go to nursing homes."

"Put me down for Spring." Kurt's face turns to one of disappointment. "It's just that back at McKinley drama was one of my CVs - But now that I am here; apparently Crawford has the only drama department around."

"So this is for a CV and not the community service credit?"

"Oh it's definitely the CV."

"I'll tell you what you could do. My girlfriend's little sister goes to Crawford - I can ask her about looking into what you'll need to do - I can't promise they will have any parts but it's worth a try...was there anything else - I saw how you were at lunch. I also heard you were in the infirmary?"

"It was my meeting with Thompson. He asked about the bullying and my mom ...It brought it all back again. I totally lost it in the bathroom. Thompson says he want's to help me work through it."

"Let me know how I can help."

Kurt scoffs, it was not out of disrespect, he simply can't believe he landed in a place where people could care.


	5. A Day In The Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day is Friday December 17, 2010:  
> It's the day after Kurt suffered his panic attack...It’s also the start of the weekend. Kurt knows that heading for home means having to explain to his dad, Carol, his pet bird everything that lead to his attack... As he heads for home Kurt decides on taking a detour by going to Crawford Country Day...To make a last minute plea for a CV. Once home things get heated when Finn learns that Kurt now fully remembers what happened their freshman year. The only thing they can agree on is not to tell their parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because this story takes place during the episode 'A Very Glee Christmas' as kind of an untold Kurt/Dalton side story…As a FYI this chapter would coincide with the same the day Beiste, Schue, and Emma deliver gifts to Sue and found out that she fixed Secret Santa.
> 
> While constructing a timeline to figure out when things would take place and what characters would be talking about it dawned on me that Rachel’s Sweet 16 Birthday would have happened right in the middle of the 'A Very Glee Christmas' episode…and yet sadly they didn’t even acknowledge it. Rachel is therefore getting A Sweet 16 party next chapter. December 18, 1994 … December 18, 2010 = 16 years
> 
> Trigger Warning: This chapter talks about bullying, homophobia, and a failed suicide attempt

**THE FRENCH HORN**  
**CHAPTER 5: A Day In The Live**

_**DALTON** _

Kurt started off his mornings at Dalton the same way he had for the past five weeks. This was first throwing on some street clothes and then going down to the dining hall for breakfast. He liked going to breakfast early. It gave him a chance to both eat and shower before going to class. And he always ate first before his shower - That way if he happened to crave pancakes he could shower away the sticky mess from his hands and hair lone before having to don his uniform... Mornings in the dining hall also began early; if you could stand the coffee it was available at 5:30am - It would then be just a short 30 minute wait until the grill would be turned on. If anyone needed to eat before then the choices were limited to cold cereal, fresh fruit, and dairy.

Most days Kurt came to the dining hall just for hot water to add to his instant oatmeal. Sometimes he might add a scoop of scrambled eggs that were made in bulk and then placed on the steam table… But today his craving was for sausage links; hot from the grill - breakfast style - sausage links. Kurt was getting hungry just thing about them. Finding success at acquiring them he then started in on his search the hall for someone to eat with. He smiled when he saw Blaine sitting down with the always sunny Trent. He liked Trent. Although the guy was two years younger and The Warblers was all they had in common Trent was fast becoming one of his better friends at Dalton.

But Kurt's heart sank when he saw what Trent held in his hand; It was The King's Island Gold Pass. He still wanted to go...He still would go if he could. Kurt told himself he wasn't going to fume, he told himself if it had to be any other guy at Dalton he'd rather it be someone as kind and completely lacking in all hidden agendas as Trent...But it still sucked it wasn't he who was going.

"I see you found somebody," Kurt said, sitting down while trying his hardest not to let on how he felt.

Trent was onto Kurt the moment Kurt had sat down "You don't mind?" Trent asked; he knew he wasn't the first to be asked just as well as he knew Blaine liked Kurt.

"Not at all," Kurt replied but lie was apparent and came with a mixed smile. "Go enjoy yourself." Kurt added with same mixed tone. But then the truth came out "I'm still sorry it won't be me going…but you know the saying: I have things to/do people to see."

"By the way Kurt," Blaine said, chiming his way into the conversation. "I'm real sorry I never got to ask at practice but how are you doing?"

"Still shaky," Kurt admitted. "Dr. Thompson and the nurse are calling it a panic attack. They gave me something It seems to be calming my nerves,"

Trent's eyes were now wide opened in surprise. He knew Kurt had arrived late to Warbler practice but never thought there was anything to it. "Oh God what happened?" asked with the sincerity of a saint. "I never seem to be in the loop when things happen." and yet one look at Kurt Trent knew the guy was probably resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

Kurt didn't think Trent was thick, not at all. But he literally just got through saying exactly what had happened none the less Kurt repeated himself this time adding detail. "I had a panic attack yesterday brought on by some really painful memories I rather not go into details about except to say Dr. Thompson and I are going to work through them."

"I'm so sorry," Trent started to say. then doubled down when he say Kurt was starting to object. "No, no I mean it. Both of you guys were bullied at your last school, you both had it bad and yet both of you have been incredibly nice to me. I know people look at me and all they see is the fat awkward guy I was never bullied about it."

"Why would they you're like one of the nicest guys here," Blaine said with all sincerity.

"I am with Blaine... Also as appreciated as it is, and it is... You're not the one who needs to make amends. Any who changing the subject, are you guys excited?"

Trent nodded. "I never been."

"Really? Never?" Kurt answered in complete disbelieve. "I almost feel better knowing someone who's never been is going in my place."

"My three younger sisters all hate roller coasters. So no I have never been." Trent answered back.

"How about you?" Kurt asked turning his attention to Blaine who was mid-bite on pancakes.

Blaine had to finish chewing before answering. "When Coop and I were kids we used to go all the time...but I only started doing this gig last year. I am still kind of nervous and excited." Blaine answered. His hand snaked uncomfortably around his head in support. Yet his eyes seemed to glow with the excitement.

"How many performances are you doing?" Kurt now asked.

Blaine let out a sigh before answering "I got one tonight, two tomorrow night, and there's a matinee show on Sunday of selected acts, so at least three but up to four I guess but then it will also be up to my duet partner if she wants to do it or not. "

"If they don't pick you for that matinee it's their loss." Kurt with an adoring smile.

Trent watched as Blaine and Kurt make idle chit-chat. It was becoming clearer every day the two boys liked each other...not that this meant he wanted to give up his free pass.

*******

Home Room was always the first class of the morning. Students were separated by class which meant both Blaine and Trent were not in the same class, but Damien Hultquist; the boy assigned to be his lab partner in his sixth period AP Biology class was there. 

"What happened to you yesterday?" He asked, watching Kurt take the seat directly in front of him.

Kurt wasn't sure how to answer, he decided on what he felt would limit the amount of followup questions. "I got sick," Kurt answered. " ...or as the guys back at my last school would say I pulled a full Linda Blair in the bathroom over by the math wing... and I then ended up in infirmary."

"Nothing catching I hope" Damian was quick to ask.

"Doubtful - I think it was just my nerves catching up with me. I am better today."

"Good because we have a quiz on chapter 20 today and Mr. Blair said if I saw you I was to remind you that you still need to take the test on chapters 13-16 and if it's not too much to ask he wants to see you to be caught up by next week."

"Yeah, yeah I will. Thanks," Kurt replied trying to seem cool like two tests wouldn't be a strain. Only Kurt didn't have to pull cool with Damien the guy already liked Kurt in part because Kurt was a Warbler but mostly because Kurt started the class from three modules behind and was catching up quickly...but more important than that was not once did he ever ask to crib off his work.

"We also finished up our labs and turned them in yesterday." Damian added. 

"Thanks," Kurt replied he tuned his eyes back forward. This meant there were three things he knew he had to prepare for. The sooner roll call was called the sooner he could use the remaining time to study for his Biology quiz...make that two quizzes and a lab. Only this plan was not to be. He heard his name called and it was nowhere near the alphabetical order of how it usually came.

"Mr. Hummel?" The homeroom teacher called again. "Could you come to the front?"

Kurt stood up he had no idea why his name was being called. He started for the front of the class with a clamor of boys chiming in with hoots some saying "Oooh busted!" Which given the zero bullying policy seemed to be walking fine line... but no matter Kurt told himself he wasn't going to fret this. 

"Bring your bag" The homeroom teacher added. With that Kurt reluctantly returned his seat picked his bag from off the floor and swung it over his shoulder. 

The whole time his Lab partner Damian was giving him a quizzical look "What?" Damian asked, acting like he was now certain he was looking at another day without his lab partner in his Biology class.

Kurt shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know."

At the front of the class Kurt was simply given a hall pass with a scribbled note from Dr. Thompson:

”Meet me at your earliest convenience” the note read.

Kurt re-read the note again trying to figure what it was that Thompson would want. ”What now?” he asked aloud, 

The teacher mistook the ask for something directed at him. "Yes now" he replied.

Kurt started to whine about how this wasn't at all what he meant. He gave up on correcting his teacher "Oh forget it,"

"If you're not back - You are to go on to your next class."

"Sure," Kurt replied dryly. "Am I missing anything like important announcements?"

”Today's announcement is _only_ for those who won't be back next week. Is this you?"

”No, sir." Kurt quipped, "Like it or not I'm here until next Thursday.”

”Well the message; in case you decide differently is about not leaving food and unclean laundry in the dorms over the Christmas break - I will be giving the same message next week"

*******

Less than 24 hours Kurt was back in Thompson's office sitting down in a leather that like a dream was ergonomically hitting every pressure point. He needed it like maybe if he closed his eyes he would be asleep.

”I want one of these chairs” Kurt announced fondly caressing the arms of the chair. “In a pale taupe of course.” he added for clarity.

Thompson smiled. ”I get that a lot. Not your specific color choice - But yes, everyone seems to love the chairs... But I really didn't call you back to critique them. I'd like for you to give me a status run down starting with how you are feeling today?"

Kurt had to bite his tongue because the very first thought that entered his head was to say was how **_[ the guy that he total had a crush on had asked him to come with him to King's Island only that he instead has to go home for the weekend and tell my dad that he has been lying to him for two years...and that the news he had just might possibly cause him to have a coronary.]_**

Only this didn't come out; What did sounded more like "I feel fine, I guess.” Which would have been true had he added: **_[but I feel like all that could change on a dime.]_ **But this addendum wasn't voice out loud either.

Thompson was fortunately a good reader. He knew that saying you were 'fine' was too often akin with saying you weren't. "Did you find the hydroxyzine helped you at all?"

"Honestly?" Kurt started to answer. "It made me sleepy but I do feel less frantic today."

”Good, I would like for you to keep talking it. I will make it available to you on an as needed basis in the nurses' office. Is that alright?”

”Sure I guess...I really don't know what I need.”

”That's why I am here,” Thompson watched the young man in his office take several deep breaths as if the only thing holding together was a fine line. Thompson pushed the box of Kleenex closer. 

”No?” Thompson asked noticing that Kurt wasn't taking any. “I also called you in," the man started back up talking again... "to tell you I have scheduled your CogAt test for next Tuesday during 2nd period. I have alerted your PE teacher that you won't be in class. It is 45 minutes long so you should be finished well before your 3rd period class but Ms. Pennor is aware you could be late. It is very important that you bring the signed paperwork by my office on Monday”

”Yep Monday - That's what you said yesterday,” Kurt said acknowledging he heard Thompson the first time. 

”Monday I like to also see your ACE results" the man added,

"I got those now if you want them." Kurt said reaching into his book bag. He pulled out a stapled set of papers and handed them to his counselor. ”I fill it out last night after practice… I'm not sure how much use it will be… I only answered 'yes' to only three questions”

”The problem with the test is while I am asked to administer them is that it doesn't cover everything like the type of bullying you've endured so while you only got a three your risk maybe just as bad as someone who got a higher score. The test is for uncovering risks to health and wellness. But it's sometimes inadequate at assessing a true risk"

”Why give the test: If you believe it is inadequate; I mean?" Kurt asked.

”Because there seems to be a direct link between childhood trauma and adult health. It is believed that finding and reducing stress now helps later in life”

Kurt let out a huge sigh and began to fidget

”Is there a problem?” the counselor asked.

Kurt continued to fidget ”I can't help but think…this fast track thing..,"

”Now that you are practically a finalist you can now call it for what it is: A scholarship program for Dalton's top students. The final decision is not til next spring...but you are a serious contender”

"But what I want to know," Kurt was now insisting on knowing. "Is do my problems hurt my chances. And if so should I be doing anything more to offset them?”

”If anything looking for a clear path through them is your key to success." Thompson replied. 

"So you are saying I shouldn't be doing anything to counter them?"

"Yesterday we talked about finding a support group. But for now the only thing I like to see added to your profile at this time would be those CVs. I would like to see five of them you currently have two.

Kurt let out a groan. It had only been a day since he was told he needed more and Dalton either didn't have what he liked or they were in conflict with Warbler practice. "Can I have more time?"

"As soon as you can but soon so I can submit you officially as a candidate."

*******

"Hey Kurt? Seeing Dr. Thompson again?"

"No, Just a follow up from yesterday to see how I was doing."

"And how are you doing?"

"I will let you know if I make it through this weekend"

”I am not sure what that means but best of luck or whatever."

"What brings you the office wing at Dalton?"

"Oh because I'm going to gone all next week, it's why we had double practice"

"Well then Merry Christmas. You're going to California?"

"To be with my grand parents for Christmas. It's a good thing we ran into each other. Because I was texting my girlfriend about my trip and when I'll be back and she just sent a one about her sister. Her sister told her the person you need to go see is Cathy Foreman…She is the director of the theater department. Only she also said they're real busy over there with the benefit next week and that you'll probably have better luck if you look into it next year."

”The thing is I need the CV this by next week, It's for that fast track scholarship"

”There isn't anything here you're interested in?" Wes asks incredulously. 

"Anything that doesn't run opposite Warbler practice you mean? No."

"There's a few clubs here that meet on Saturdays you could always use one of those" Wes suggests like he thinks it a simple fix.

"I go home weekends," Kurt answered. "And beside most of the time when I am at home and not working on my homework I'm helping my dad out with the cars"

"Maybe that's what you could do. Use your dad's tire shop as a CV"

"You can do that?"

"Sure part time jobs are included as CVs"

"Okay that's three, Thompson told me he wanted me to have five"

"Wish I could help you more.,,But if it were up to me I would just look for something on Saturday."

*******

**_CRAWFORD_ **

Kurt was glad to see the back end of another school week. He was now heading for home. Kurt sees Blaine getting into his mother's car with Trent so he waves, before walking a dozen yards or so to where he parked his SUV. With his duffel bag off loaded into the back he got in started the car and set off out of Dalton's student car lot and into the long drive that led off grounds. It was a short drive to the junction that took him to the I270 freeway. OR he suddenly though he could continue forward and head for Crawford. Kurt pursed his lips; thinking of which one he wanted most: Home or Crawford? It was an easy choice because only a few minutes later Kurt was pulling up and finding a parking spot. at Crawford Country Day School for Girls. Getting out he looked over the top of his car it now was only a matter of trying to suss out which of Crawford's several buildings was the theater.

In practice sussing out theaters wasn't especially hard. They all seem to have the same 2-3 story configuration that had a no window look about them. As Kurt searched while a light snow began to fall Kurt's eyes shifted upwards. This was the true 'make it or break it' spot not the light five miles back. Either he needed to leave for home ahead of the storm or find this Cathy Foreman person and make his plea. Again It was easy to decided which he wanted more and falling snow wasn't going to stop him.

Kurt drew his coat tighter to his body and headed across the parking lot towards the only building without windows and from his distance what looked like a marquis ...closer he got the confirmation he needed when he saw the building had a box office. Yet what seemed to defy all logic was that the twin set of steel double doors leading into the theater were all propped wide open by four cinder blocks. Considering that it had been in the low 20's all day it actually seemed beyond daft really. Kurt soon learned why - The smell of paint hit him like a wall the moment he crossed the threshold into small foyer lined with past production posters it opened up to a theater similar in size to McKinley's

How it differed was there wasn't a single fixed seat in the house. The place where there would have been chairs was taken up by out of uniform girls paining a large backdrop coverings about half the floor. one of the ladies stopped and looked up with a paint can in one hand and a paint brush in the other white paint dotting her face.

"Don't look now Alex, but there's a boy in here" she announces so all the others in the room not just Alex looks up

Another girl speaks up, "He looks like a Dalton boy," she answers with a playfulness in her voice. For her boys on campus were a rare but welcomed occurrence if they showed up they usually only for dances that regrettably came with the strictest of supervision. Here was one unaccompanied in a half-length wool coat black sweater and she would know Dalton slacks from any where

The other girl shook her head. He has no blazer. Hey kid, are you lost?

"No, Wes Seung sent me"

"Told you, Dalton," the flirty girl stated smugly. She then questions Kurt "So Wes has minions now?"

"I was told to see a Cathy Foreman?"

Upon hearing her name a talk slender slightly older looking woman stood up. Kurt thought maybe in her mid-20s. She got up from the floor while the younger girls continued painting a snowy Forest onto a backdrop

"Are you Kurt Hummel?

"Yes ma'am. Are you Cathy Foreman?

"I am - Wes said I should keep an eye out for you."

This came as news to him because Wes gave him no indications he had spoken to Cathy Foreman directly. He had no choice but to go with it.

"He also stressed how you weren't looking for a community service project but for a CV. Cathy wipes her hands on a turpentine rag before coming to greet the boy from Dalton.

"If there's room for me," Kurt stated.

"You do know this is a girl's school"

"I'm aware of that - I just thought our two schools being sibling schools that it wouldn't matter"

"Well you thought wrong," the girl with the paint on her face quipped. "This is a girl's school."

"Jenny, this is not your call. But she's right this is a girl's school; one, where parents want to feel safe about sending their daughters to. I like to hear why you think we should make an exception for yet another singer from Dalton - No matter how incredible your range might happen to be"

Kurt's eyes widen, he had no idea Wes had also given him a send up. "So Wes told you about my range - Did he? Did he say anything about how I can also act? My most recent role was playing Wally Webb in a community theater production of Our Town."

Jenny rolls her eyes. "Doesn't Wally like die in the first act?"

Kurt nods, "Burst appendix while camping. My biggest role to date was Jack in a community theater production of 'Into the Woods' but that was like five years ago."

"I am sorry Kurt but with us being only a week away from our biggest performance of the year I just don't have the time or the room for anyone else. The only reason we let The Warblers join in the first place is because they bring more attention to the cause. The venue is also in Columbus not here."

"I brought my resume; maybe if you saw that I had more to add you'd take a chance

"Are you deaf?" Jenny interrupted again.

"No, I just love performing. It's what I want to do. Please just read it." While Cathy takes the resume in hand and starts to read it. Kurt became briefly distracted by a woman walking across the stage carrying a large cardboard box - This woman also seems to be older than the students at Crawford. Kurt turned his eyes back to Cathy still reading over his resume.

The woman on stage continues her stroll - over to a folding table on stage. She drops the box of mostly blue fabric on the table before announcing. "I think we need to reconsider renting - I just been through the whole wardrobe department and sadly this is the best I can do. She (notices that no one is paying her any attention she sees that everyone is looking at a boy "...oh hi! - Who's the kid?"

"This is Mr. Kurt Hummel he's from Dalton he wants to join our performing arts club.

"Well, if he knows anything about costuming he has my vote

"I can sew" Kurt interjects.

"It says here you play the piano. I take it you can also read music?"

"Oh course

"Six years Ballet?

"Yes but I confess It's been a while

"Wait, wait you know ballet and you go to Dalton? Are you gay? Jenny is once again at it with the interruptions

Kurt still answers "Yes is that a problem?"

"Guess he's told you Alex says elbowing Jenny.

" _Your_ orientation isn't a problem What is however is that you are a boy.

"Please, I'll do anything even be a gofer if you like

"You want it that badly?" Cathy muses.

"My guidance counselor says I need more CVs only Dalton doesn't have many clubs that interest me No Culinary Club or No Sewing Circle, no Craft's Corner I am at your mercy

"I'm willing to bend" Kathy says handing back the resume. "Providing no one objects and you can find a faculty sponsor willing to vouch for you. But good luck finding one before the 23rd. You should try coming back next year"

"Bye" Jenny chimes as Kurt walks out. 

Lizzy from the stage decides to follow. She's not at all dressed for the cold outside with she thinks her pursuit is worth it. Lizzy is thankful to find the Dalton boy had not gone far. He was sitting on a concrete bench letting himself be snowed on.

Lizzy called to him but had forgotten his name "Hey" The boy on the bench didn't responded "Hey kid" Lizzy calls out louder. She's not liking the cold and the snow landing on her face.

"Kurt, my name is Kurt Hummel - Not that it matters."

"I'm Lizzy. Is it true you sew?"

"Yeah"

"Any good?"

"I like to think so,"

"Are we talking mending or what?"

"I make a lot of my own clothes and I taught a couple of my friends in my show choir back in Lima how to use a sewing machine. Why do you ask when it's apparent none of you ladies really want me here?"

"Ignore Cathy she's just so helplessly by the book. Which means she sometimes comes off sounding like a bitch but she really isn't. Me on the other hand, I'm begging." Lizzy clasps her hands to show she was actually begging. "I am swamped here - like really swamped. I have The 6 grade choir telling me at the last minute they all need costumes and then there's Winnie Shaffer - Yesterday she tells me she's not doing the benefit that she's instead going to Boston for Christmas, which means I have come up with a way of turning her tiny size 3 costume into a size 12 for Maddie without changing it too much from the other two ice maidens…Oh and did I tell you I'm also an undergrad at CCAD?"

"No…You didn’t…What's the play?"

"It's a panto story about Santa Clause getting kidnapped so big oil can drill in The Arctic. He needs to be rescue by a his 3 daughters plus a menagerie of polar bears, penguins and a harp seal in time to deliver presents while saving us all from global warming

"Sounds intriguing but aren't penguins from the South Pole?

Jenny rolled her eyes and exasperatedly stated as an excuse "It's a kid's show… Help me and I will see what I can do about helping you get around Cathy."

"Great because my chances are slim at finding a faculty sponsor here at Crawford while I'm all day at Dalton.

"Hmmmm… well, about that. Cathy will probably kill me for telling you this but there are about 5 teachers here that also teach at Dalton?

"No? Really? Kurt was flabbergasted, wondering why the director didn't say anything.

"It's true. Let's see there's Mr. Dennis who teaches Physics. Mr.Huang Manderin, Ms Pennor..

Kurt gave a wide beaming smile as he heard the name Pennor. "I have her for French"

"Well there you have it. But remember you didn't it hear from me. God i must be daft coming out here without a coat"

"Why didn't you say something. If we go back inside you can show me what you have left to do.

*******

Lizzy led Kurt back to the box she had left on the stage. On top was a pretty dress of blue with rhinestone snowflakes. This is Shaffer's dress I figured we can cannibalize these and come up with something. If you are as good as you say Maddie is going to flip out. "

"Do you have any of this fabric left over"

"Only what's in the box. I called around to all the stores they all said no new shipments until after the New Year. We need Maddie's dress by the 23rd"

"If I may: What I am thinking here is going full Renaissance. If we put a grommets up the back of the bodice…so it laces. We should get about 2 to 4 inches - If we didn't want to leave the full bulk of size to be in the back we could also lace up the front with a contrasting color as an under shirt"

Lizzy was growing more and more Intrigued at the suggestions. "What would you do about the sleeves so they are not so tight on Maddie?"

Simple we could slash them like 'Paned Sleeves' Something like this..." Kurt pulls a ring-binder notebook from his bag and a pen and starts to sketch an Elizabethan version of the snowflake dress

"You're capable of this?"

"What?" Kurt laughed. "This is easy."

"Maddie is a size 12"

"Uh huh, I have an adjustable dress form"

"Okay stop." Lizzy chimed, she was more than sold.

"If you trust me I like to see what I can do. I'll have it finished and dropped off on Monday."

"If you can do that? I am indebted to you. Thank you"

"It's me who should be thanking you. I need the CV for a scholarship. So thank you. I should probably get going. I live in Lima. In this weather it's going to take hours to get home"

"You should get then. Don't worry about Cathy she'll come around. See you Monday Kurt. If I like what I see I might just hand over more work, Would you be up to that?

Kurt nodded. "I would. I need this to work. I need the CV."

"It's a deal then. You should get like you said. before the weather gets worse."

"Good night Lizzy" Kurt said picking up the box with the dress and blue fabric and walking out. 

"Night" Lizzy beamed. But she also saw that Cathy was seething looking up at her from the house floor.

**_***_ **

Once Kurt was gone Cathy came on stage. immediately started in "What was that all about?"

"He's our new costumer, and he's getting a CV"

"Lizzy he needs a sponsor"

"he already has one in mind" Lizzy quips back.

"Who?"

"So you can sabotage this? No way!"

"Lizzy?!?" Cathy snaps.

"Come on he's a performer who can sew."

Cindy is so flustered all she can do is glare at Lizzy.

Lizzy wasn't having it. "See this?" she stated back at Cathy. "What you're doing now, this is what you call looking a gift horse in the mouth. Besides Cat I need this. I have a polar bear costume plus the junior choir all due by next Thursday The way I see it we just increased our chances of getting all that done."

"What if the parents object?"

"Object to what? That he's helping us out of a bind? Or that he literally looks like a life size Elf on a Shelf?"

"That he's gay for starters"

"So what Crawford is supposed to be secular school." Lizzy was getting more and more flustered. "Look It's none of my business how you run things - I am just an intern. But he's dropping of Maddie's dress off on Monday so I will make you a deal with you: If you don't like the dress you have my permission to fire him. Somehow I think it won't come to that."

**_***_ **

**_HOME_ **

Kurt was in the Crawford parking lot putting the box in the back seat of his SUV. He thought how at least the school-week was ending on a better note. Kurt even thought he might have made a new friend. This feeling that things were looking up was short lived. Now that he was heading for home. Kurt still didn't know how he was going to tell his dad that the shrink at school wanted him in therapy without the prompting of dozens of follow up questions that he had no intention of answering.

The 270 traffic was thankfully heavy; both the rush hour traffic and how the light snow was bringing out the clowns who either drove ridiculously too fast or nerve-wrackingly too slow. What normally took 20 minutes to get to the I40 West was more like 35. It gave him more time to think. The I40 West was just as bad as was the I75 North. The last leg towards Lima the snow fall had worsened yet again. Against a darkening sky the snowfall looked like traveling at warp speed. At 8:37pm Kurt was finally pulling into the driveway of his house. The first thing he noticed was his Dad's truck wasn't in the driveway nor was Carol's car in the garage. Fridays Kurt often came through the garage so he could drop off his duffel bag of dirty clothes in the mud room and start the wash right away. This is why he knew both cars were gone.

Inside the house just past the kitchen what Kurt saw next was Finn firmly planted on the couch engaged in some video game that Kurt never brought himself to care which. Instead what Kurt cared about was where was Carol and his dad

”Where's our parents?" he finally asked.

Finn never bothered to look up from his game yet he still answered. ”The heater in your dad's truck is busted so mom went in her car to go pick him up."

”Ok" So why didn't dad just fix it?"

"He said he didn't have the parts - Hey there's an invite for you and Blaine on the table. It's for Rachel's Sweet 16 tomorrow

"Cool it will be nice to see everyone," Kurt went over to the dinner table where he saw two invites. His was addressed Kurt and Blaine. The second invite says Finn. "Yours is still here?"

"That's because I haven't made my mind up yet"

"This from the guy who said he kissed Rachel while he was dating Quinn...twice!"

"What's that supposed to mean

"It means she kissed Puck big deal. Rachel likes you she might even love you and It's her Sweet 16th tomorrow and you should go"

"I think it's a Jewish thing she's holding at the Jewish Community Center.

"I'm going and I am not religious at all… It's an impressive pretty Invite; pink with gold-bossed... And I just love that Rachel thought to included Blaine. Kurt reads a cryptic note included in her birthday invite: _**Please RSVP and extent my invite to Blaine. I hope that you both can make it. But I like you to be my 15th candle. Love Rachel ★**_

"Hmmm? I don't know what that even means....but I should probably go RSVP that Blaine will be in Cincinnati all weekend. I am going to go upstairs and change my clothes." Kurt stops and looks back at Finn.

"Finn?" Kurt starts to ask,

"What?" Finn answers back.

"Do you ever think about Kyle Daniels."

"Kyle? Quarterback Kyle? I totally hated that guy"

How do you think I felt? That's not a question. I lived in fear of him my whole Freshman year. I don't want to involve our parents but we need to talk.

"Why are you dragging this up?"

Because Finn I had a panic attack yesterday. All I could think about was that day. I ended up in the infirmary

"An Infirm-a-what-a"

"It means Nurse's office"

"Why didn't you just say that? Why do you have to use all these big words it like you're better than me?"

"Infirmary is just what they call them at Dalton. I totally lost it."

Dude are you crying

Let's not talk about this now. I want to kept what happened from our parents

"You don't have to say that twice,"

"You weren't in your room so I came looking"

"My journals are somewhere up here. Somewhere I still haven't found them. Found this though." [scoffs] 

"Is that your horn?"

"Yes," Kurt replies his eyes were red from crying. "I didn't know I still had it. I was only up here looking for my journals. Shit Finn! I told the psychologist at Dalton. I told him everything that happened in that bathroom at school"

"I said I was sorry"

"I know. That's what I told the school's psychologist Dr. Thompson I said that you apologized. I told him I accepted. I even told him how I thought that you tried to stand up to him. But Dr. Thompson the school's psychologist said he still is required to fill a report with The State. I told him not to but I can't stop him from doing what he's required to do I thought you should know.

"Oh man why did you go and do that - You're going to get me into trouble"

"I was a mess Finn....I am still a mess."

"You could have kept your mouth shut"

"Screw you Finn!"

"Oh God - That's not what I meant. I mean why did you have to tell anyone

"I was in full panic mode...besides you have hardly have reason to be upset with me...It's not like I got in the way of what you guys did."

"You could have told me it still bothered you"

"Still?" [Scoffs] "Until yesterday I hid it from everybody, Including myself!" "Anyway I am telling you now. I am telling you because I don't know what Dr. Thompson is going to do. I only know that I don't want this repeated I don't want our parents finding out."

"Wait, you never told your dad anything?

"My dad knows only about the balloons. He doesn't know everything that happened. Heck you don't even know the full story

"I was there," Finn acknowledged. "I think I know"

"You really don't - You don't know what Kyle said after and you don't know what happened after I got home"

I know we came by to egged the house..."

Kurt rolled eyes now took on an angered element

Finn knew he had to back down "Sorry, you were saying?"

"What I did - what no one knows is I tried to end it... I was washing up. My dad wasn't home yet from work all I wanted was to not feel so alone. So took pills and tried to drown myself in the bath water....I that moment I hated what Kyle did but I hated myself more."

"Oh man I didn't know"

"You are the first person I ever told that too." Kurt scoffs at the sick irony of the reveal. "Fortunately for me I couldn't stay submerged. I thought the pills would make me sleepy – All they did was make my ears ring. The next day at school I quit everything all my clubs, orchestra, choir with Ryerson. I started hanging out in the library because I felt safer in there - Kyle still found me. He asked me if I told anybody yet. I said no. He then said all he had to do was tell his parents his version of the story how I came on to him and it would be me who would be expelled."

"The guy was a total dick!"

"I thought things would change after he graduated - The only thing that did was now Karofski and hockey team were also taking shots at me. It took joining Cheerios for Puck to finally stop and apologize. I think the only reason he did was he's afraid of Sue. "

"We all are dude. Oh - Did you hear. At school today? Sue rigged the Faculty's Secret Santa so that she got all the gifts."

Kurt rolled his eyes In typical fashion. "Why isn't she fired?" Exasperated Kurt threw his hands up in defeat saying how it was: "Not my problem anymore. Now that I am at Dalton with a chance at a scholarship if it means counseling and jumping through a few hoops I am going to do it. But Finn the reason I am telling you all this is from here on out we are going to need to be on the same page. What happened in that bathroom as far as mom and dad are concerned didn't happen. And that goes double for my suicide attempt. In the meantime I will try to keep the heat off you and Puck"

"You're way better than I would have been" Finn replied.

"You are not as bad as you think Finn. You were the only one who stood up to Kyle."

For a moment Finn was choked with emotion. He pointed towards the stairs. "I am going to go find out about dinner. Are you coming?”

"In a minute. I really need to find my journals"

Finn left the attic and knew the moment he saw his mom at the base of the stairway was the moment he knew she had heard too much. His mom was standing at the bottom of the stairs wiping away tears. "I will deal with you later," She said. "Right now go wash up for dinner"

*******

"Kurt" Carol called tentatively. She was ashamed that her son had any part in what she just heard.

"Carol," Kurt acknowledged as his shoulders fell; feeling like he was dealt a crushing blow. "You heard us" he said softly. This wasn't at all what he wanted.

"I did" his step-mother admitted.

"I didn't want you to know. I'm worried about dad. Worried how he'll feel about Finn… And about you. I love you. I love that dad loves you." Kurt starts to cry again this time he is not sure he will ever stop. He finds and old trunk to sit down on. His step-mother does the same wrapping her arms around him as he cried.

"It's okay, sweetheart," She says softly. "It's okay. Just let it out. You've been carrying this by yourself for for too long."

"Don't go hard on Finn. Please. He tried to stop it. Kyle was just too connected. Kyle's parents have money and are heads of the district. Kyle even said all he had to do was tell his parents and they would get me expelled…he could have said the same to Finn... Finn also apologized to me last year." 

"I'll consider this when I talk with Finn. Right now I am considering grounding him."

"But it's Rachel's sweet 16 is tomorrow. She's having us do some candle ritual with her. I am not into rituals myself but she wants me and Finn to be there for her"

"I will think about it." Carol see how Kurt's eyes were fixated on case that from the shape could have only held a horn like there was so much she hadn't heard yet. "Did you play the horn?"

"Seven years - but I haven't played for two."

"Did Finn have something to do with why you quit?

Kurt nods. "I was practicing for a half-time show and Finn and six guys from the football team came after me. There was a ringleader and I know some of the guys maybe didn't want to be there but they all participated in what happened. They stripped my pants and underwear and then mocked me and they made me simulate a sex act on my horn's mouthpiece...I have tried so hard to put it out of my mind but yesterday it all came crashing back. The school's psychologist asked about my journals. That's why I was up here looking for them. But I found it instead."

"You saw a school psychologist about this?"

"I don't know what I told him; after my panic attract my head was a mess."

"Do you feel you need to someone to talk about this?"

"He's offered. but if it stops days like I had yesterday, Then I want to do this."

"Maybe you should start with what happened with what happened yesterday what brought on your attack?"

"I was called into Dr. Thompson's office. I need to take this cognitive test I was also told I'm being considered for a scholarship that Dalton hands out to top students and so I was asked questions about my transcripts like why I repeated the 3rd grade and why I have a W in orchestra. But I lied to him. I have been telling everybody I didn't see who threw the pee balloons at me. The truth was I was afraid....Afraid because what happened in the bathroom afterwards ...afraid because after it all happened; after I got home, I didn't want to live anymore. But what I was afraid of most was that if dad ever found out he would suffer another heart attack...But this time it would be worse. When I walked out Dr. Thompson's office and it all came flooding back...I don't want to live in fear anymore but I don't want anything to happen to dad."

"First things first, Kurt: You need to start taking care of you. Your health is important. Secondly I love your father and I have no intentions in being a widow for a second time. It was bad enough the first time but if there's a silver lining I got to meet you and your father. Now you're away most of the week so you maybe can't see the change in your father, but he's doing better. He has been taking better care of himself, He's eating better, He's been using the treadmill in the basement but the bottom line is he loves you so much that it would hurt him even more knowing that you are actively avoiding his support."

"So you're going to tell my dad?" Kurt asked, but he knew it was inevitable.

"Not right away, but yes." She got up from the trunk and tied to gain composure. "Now, it's late but dinner is still being kept warm in the oven if you feel up to it I would love for you to wash up and come down to eat."

"Carol?" Kurt wistfully called for his step-mom.

The sadness in Kurt's voice was already present, there was something else now it made Carol make a hard stop before going down stairs and turned to look at Kurt. "Yes, what is it dear, is there something else you need to tell me?" Carol answered. 

"It's just that I want to say thanks for all you doing to take care of dad and being a mom to me."

"Of course sweetie. I like to think I'm the lucky one. I have the both of you."

"That's just that, I wonder if somewhere in all this mess if it would be alright if I can called you mom?"

The ask cause Carol's hand flew to her mouth, then came to a resting spot of her chest. For such a little word but it meant the world to hear it from her stepson for the first time. "Sweetheart of course you can. I would be honored"

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With regards to why I think Kurt took several AP classes in his junior year at Dalton:  
> One of the many hats I have worn while working in Aerospace was that of being QA Inspector. My eagle eyes has spotted books on on Kurt's bedroom bookshelf and in many cases I have identified them. Like in the episode 'Sexy' (S2E15) there is an AP Biology textbook by Campbell and Reece. Since the textbook is The AP Edition I took this to be canon that Kurt took AP Biology at Dalton. There are also several art books such as one on Monet and The Triumph of Impressionism or the two by Edward Lucie-Smith causing me to think Kurt was taking AP Art History. There are two books on Egypt by Barbara Mertz whose books are used in AP World History. Then there is the European World History book in 'A Very Glee Christmas' (S2E10) this is also an auxiliary book used in both AP European History and AP World History...I assumed the latter based on Kurt's comment about Charlemagne. Since Kurt tells Mr. Schue his 'classes are harder but the students are kind' I came to believe "harder" meant all of his classes at Dalton were AP. This would make sense since Dalton is an Academic Prep School.
> 
> Also from Kurt's bedroom bookshelf but this time season three episode 'Dance With Somebody' (S3E17) there is a frame cast photo of an 'Into The Woods' production. It is being triage green for "humidity controlled storage in case [Kurt] became famous." The photo would therefore have to one that include Kurt. There is only one boy character in 'Into the Woods; and that's Jack. 
> 
> Now for the Fun Fact… In Rachel's Resume used in Mash-off (S3E6) it reads that she played 'Little Red Riding Hood' in an 'Into The Woods' performance in 2004...Rachel would have been 9, Kurt would have been 11. Although Glee never went anywhere with these 'Easter Egg' points I am thinking both Rachel and Kurt were in this same 2004 production. In this chapter it is revealed that Kurt was in this play.


	6. The 15th Candle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's December 18 2010, a day that just happens to be Rachel's Sweet 16. Four years after not having a Bat Mitzvah party her aunt and Granny are making it up to her BIG  
> Kurt, after spending his morning convincing Finn to go to Rachel's party starts to have second thoughts of his own. Mostly because his dad is borrowing his car and not having it makes Kurt feel trapped unable to leave. This is only acerbated by haunting memories that makes Kurt fear that there might be more to his buried memories.  
> At home Finn is told he has to come up with a suitable punishment or he'll be grounded. And at the party Finn lets Punk in on what is happening with Kurt...causing Puck to then make a formal apology to Kurt.  
> Back at the Hudson-Hummel household Burt comes home for lunch and gets the wrong impression after he finds a $214 receipt from a music store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a long and hard chapter to write. It has a lot of elements that I tried to get all of them right. The chapter also has a lot of original characters (Rachel's family) that will make this one and only appearance.  
>  **The Candle Lighting Ceremony** that is mentioned is a ceremony that is typically performed during the receptions held for a Sweet 16, Quinceaneras, or for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. In each ceremony the candles all have special meaning they I.E. in a Sweet 16 The 1st Candle is for Parents, The 15th Candle (The title of this chapter) is for a Best Friend, and a 16th is for Boy Friend (if there is one or if you are not currently broken-up), and this story uses the optional 17th Candle "Wishing Candle" In a Bar/Bat Mitzvah the candle order is completely different and the first candle is set aside for those who have passed on and the 'Parents Candle' is usually the second candle from the last based upon how many candles there are.  
> In my story the Rachel blends Sweet 16 and Bat Mitzvah candle lighting traditions together so that she can honor her late Grandpa Barr as her first candle...her dads candle is now moved to # eleven (The placement it would have had this been a Bat Mitzvah)  
> The Song Rachel is said to perform is called 'Shema Yisrael' and it is perhaps one of the most beautiful but sad songs I have ever heard. It's such a beautiful emotional heartfelt song I'm surprised Rachel/Lea never sang it on/and for the show.  
>  **When creating Rachel's Family Members** IE people who would come to Rachel's party. I came up with a back story for the Barrys. I decided "Berry" is a merged married name  
> Hiram **B** arr and LeRoy Ch **erry \---> B + ERRY = Berry**  
> Because Hiram means "exalted brother" I felt this would mean he has an older sister. I named her Shelly she is married to a teacher named Micheal Green and they have three kids. Everybody else in Rachel's family is either a Barr or a Cherry.  
> 

THE FRENCH HORN  
CHAPTER 6: The 15th Candle

 **December 18, 2010**...Just past 7am

Kurt woke for to sound of a notification chime going off on his mobile. He knew by it's sound that it had to be Blaine, He rolled over and picked up his phone from off his nightstand. He smiled when he saw what was written.

_**"The Gig last night went very well and Trent... I swear he's fast becoming a roller-coaster fiend!!! He keeps on wanting to go back on The Diamondback.**_

_**Trent even got Peg (That's my duet partner ) to come with us last night after our gig. She's been cool, but I was right! You** **ARE ****much better! Peg wants to do the matinee but there hasn't been any word yet if we have a spot. I miss you and hope you are feeling better. Thanks for the news about Rachel. Sing Happy Birthday for me. See you back at Dalton on Monday ~B**_

Kurt shot back his own message. _" **I miss you too, I am glad you and Trent seem to be having fun. See you Monday. I will text you about the party later ~Kurt"**_ Kurt put the phone down and decided what he wanted now was pancakes.

*******

Kurt was soon down stairs standing in the kitchen with the refrigerator door wide open while he looked for blueberries, an egg, and a carton of milk. Kurt hears Finn on the other side of the door so he steps around the door to ask Finn a question. "Have you decided about going yet?" Now Kurt thought it was an innocuous question to ask, but the way Finn answered back made Kurt jump.

"Can you just leave me alone about this!" Finn said with enough venom to bring down a rhino. "I having a hard enough time without you ragging on me!"

"Geez! bite my head off Finn - I only asked if you made up your mind." Kurt returned back to the safety of the refrigerator door.

"It's my mom," Finn begins to explain. He finds a kitchen chair and he spins if around so he plop himself down into it. "She wants me to come up with a suitable punishment or else she's going to ground me."

"That's not my fault," Kurt returned sharply. "And for the record I did ask for her to go easy."

"I know," Finn answered sheepishly. He wonders if this is what they mean by 'victim blaming' he certainly didn't want to be this grumpy towards Kurt.

"Also," Kurt went on. "I wasn't trying to rag on you it's just... look at the clock." Kurt turns to point at the kitchen wall clock of a Fat Chef with a clock for its belly. "The party is at noon and which means you only have a few hours to make up your mind."

"I know. But like I told you yesterday. I haven't made up my mind yet."

"It's a milestone birthday!"

"She made me her 16th candle," Finn whined. "Do you know what that means?"

"No, I'm still trying to figure what being her 15th candle means" Kurt answers back with a smirk.

"It means Rachel still thinks I am her boyfriend." Finn answers with hurt in his voice. "I'm just not yet ready to forgive her." 

Finn still had fresh hurt in his voice; hurt that Kurt tried to not mind saying "It's a only a party Finn," Kurt said. "This means there will be food, cake, a dance floor... And knowing it's Rachel attending guest will get party swag"

"So" Finn uttered trying to sound like he really wasn't impressed.

"So? I live for swag. Besides the card says RSVP that means if you haven't yet, you should at least give her a call."

"I thought that was the date, you know like Roman numerals only Jewish."

"No, Finn it's a French acronym for _**répondez s'il vous plaît**_ in English is means: Please Respond. If the hold out is being asked to be her 16th candle tell her that. Say something like you'll only come if you are not her 16th candle"

"I also haven't bought her anything," Finn pauses a second before saying: "I didn't even buy her anything for Christmas."

"Then come with me to the mall. Dad has my car all day. But Mom is taking me to Heavenly Stitches to pick up notions for a costume I am working on. If you come too we can swing by the mall and we can pick out gifts before being dropped off at the party."

"That's another thing. What do I get her that doesn't give the wrong impression?"

It only took Kurt a second. "Well, Rachel's birthstone is Zircon, right?"

Finn shook his head like he really did not know what Rachel's birthstone was let alone his own.

"You can get her a nice pair of Zircon earrings or a Pandora birthstone charm" 

Finn blinks in astonishment. "Mr. Schue's is right about you. You are really good at picking out gifts...So, what are you getting her?"

"If I can find copy of 'Sondheim's Finishing the Hat' at the bookstore, that, if not I will think of something."

Finn finally sees what Kurt is removing from the refrigerator. "You're making pancakes aren't you?" 

"If that's code for _'can you make me some?'_ I have told you a thousand times - Just ask."

"Will you?"

Kurt opens the refrigerator and pulls out another egg he closes the fridge with a swing of his hip

"Kurt?" Finn begins solemnly. "I am really sorry. I am such a looser for not doing a better job at sticking up for you two years ago. But I want to make it right." As Finn sits the plan forms of what he'll so as his punishment: Finn will pay to have Kurt's horn fixed.

"Don't worry about it Finn, I know you tried...I think it's maybe why I had such a crush on you last year: You were so much better than any of the other football jocks."

"I am sorry we made your life miserable"

"I forgive you...So do you want added blueberries or chocolate chips?"

Finn looked at his step brother as if he said the most magical thing ever "You can put chocolate chips on pancakes?"

"Sure, ON... or IN ...as long as you flip them before the chips start to melt"

"You are like the best brother ever"

*******

**LIMA'S JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER**

After mall shopping Carol left Kurt and Finn curbside in front of the JCC. After rolling down the windows she called back one last time.

"Have fun boys - Oh and see if you can get a ride back home or to the tire shop... The heater on Burt's truck should be fixed by then." Carol then drove off. She had more errands to run before her late afternoon shift at the hospital so her plans first involved going back to the music store on the mall. Finn had asked her about fixing Kurt's horn as his punishment, and that whatever the cost he would pay for it. Finn also said he didn't want Kurt finding out about it until Christmas... Carol excepted this. So back to the music store she would go and if there was time afterwards she wanted to get the weekend grocery shopping out of the way before she was needed at work.

Kurt watched longingly as Carol drive off. He now was at the mercy of who ever he could find to drive him home. He turned to face the entrance thinking it funny how he spent the morning convincing Finn to come and he was now looking for a way out.

Maybe it was just that as an atheist standing in front of one of big three when it came to places of worship it was suddenly daunting to him. _[Where was Finn?]_ Kurt asked himself like _[maybe there was safety in numbers]_ He could see the 6'4" giant in the parking lot. _[Waiting for Puck to show? Probably.]_ This meant Kurt had to brave going in alone and Just there for a second he wondered if there was any kind of sky daddy up in the clouds would he strike him down if he went inside? This thankfully was only a passing irrational thought that came from few days of feeling down in the dumps. Instead what was overtaking Kurt the moment he walked inside the center was the exuberance of the decor; How beautiful it all was and yet also so very pink! Like a a pepto bismol factory exploded. Decorating was a hidden passion of Kurt's one that he kept it hidden because how it went hand-in-hand with a stereotype of being gay and he didn't want to add more admonition to haters. What Kurt was now looking at was some next level decorating skills that well beyond his scope Kurt would have taken longer to absorb just how incredible it all was if not for the receptionist directing him to an easel that held up a poster-size graphic of all the table seating arrangements.

"Thank you for coming," The young receptionist at the door said coolly. "Please find your table number to the left. Gifts go on the receiving table next to the Guestbook."

The order seemed kind of cold and impersonal but Kurt obediently did as he was told. He dropped off the gift bag that held the Sondheim book he had just purchase, signed his name into the guestbook, and proceeded over to a poster board with all the table assignments. It only took a second to find his name when he found that he had been inexplicably assigned to Table 1.

Why he on earth had he been placed on Table 1? Also if he was going on how elegantly and professionally made the seating chart looked - So Kurt gathered that the position had to have been something planned well in advance to get work like it completed on time. The problem remained was: Why? Especially when he only just got through telling Rachel he would come....then there was the simple matter that he did not always liked Rachel. In fact It was no secret how often Rachel drove him crazy. What changed? Kurt had to really think about it this realizing the first time Rachel ever cared enough about how he felt happened a couple months ago during Duet Week. But this he thought was only a **_Random Act Of Kindness_** , appreciated but random. Maybe it was what Rachel said at **Sectionals** That she could be kind simply because they were no longer rivals for solos; But now only a month later why Rachel was placing him at her side in the center of all things...In a room filled with people he hardly knew. Kurt had to look at the poster again just to make sure if his name was still there - Table 1 - This time Kurt felt a little more relieved at finding that Mercedes would also be seated at Table 1.

Now there was only the matter of finding where his table was located in a vast sea of tables. Kurt figured Table 1 would likely be front and center; where Rachel would be the focus of the room... that's how he would plan it - That's how Rachel would prefer it. So he thought finding it should be an easy task of simply task of looking where he would put it... His search was over as soon as it began when he spotted a rectangular table front and centered of all things and framed by the large garland of balloons. Table 1 was further highlighted by a fringed backdrop of pink metallic foil directly behind it. Just off to one side was a smaller cake table that held a three tiered cake and 17 candle candle-holder with Rachel's name in large glittering letters. 

The most direct route to Table 1 meant crossing a large wood-vinyl dance floor that was set up in the middle of the room. The dance floor was flanked by round tables some with already seated guest - Kurt still didn't recognize anyone but noted how each table was beautifully decorated in shades of pink and magenta. Garlands of fuchsia colored wisteria was draping everywhere and at the center of each table was its own floral candelabra.

Everything was absolutely beautiful; He couldn't imagine how much a party like this was costing Rachel's dads  
As Kurt drew closer he could see that Mercedes was already seated at their table...she in fact was the only one seated... Her hands folded like she was waiting for someone. _[Him?]_

When Mercedes saw who it was approaching her table she let out a loud jubilant "Kurt you made it!" and with this she flew up out of her seat and ran to Kurt throwing her arms around Kurt she hugged hum like he was a long lost friend had finally come home.

"I miss you so much!" she says yet she also pulls back; sensing something was off. "Is something wrong?" she asked "Are they still working you to the bone at Dalton?"

"Something like that," Kurt confesses, stopping himself from telling Mercedes the truth of why he looked so tired and hurt. "It's just so great to see you...and I have to say wow! That dress and your hair You look fabulous!"

"I know it's mad! Rachel and her aunt let me use their stylist. Rachel has a stylist! My sweet 16th was so not like this."

"Mine wasn't either. But I can't complain Dad did get me a Lincoln Navigator. So where's the birthday girl where's Rachel? "

"We just got back from Temple. So she's either in the greenroom waiting for her 'Grand Entrance' or she's still getting into her dress"

"Wait, are you saying you went with Rachel to temple?" Kurt asked squinting his face in incredulous doubt. 

"Rachel invited me. I figure since she once came to my church to hear me sing. I would go with her to temple."

"Isn't that like apostasy or something?"

"Kurt, I'm the captain of the Interfaith Club. I am all for building relationships"

Kurt half chuckled, "Agreed, I just never knew you guys did that."

"Rachel also wanted to invite you, she just wasn't sure you'd want to come. You know after that business with your dad.

"Naw, I probably have gone that is if I wasn't so stressed out right now."

"Okay, Kurt... What going on?"

"I will fill you in later. Somewhere just not here. Right now lets just talk about the party - The important details - Like have you seen Rachel's dress yet?

"I only know it's pink"

"Because everything in here is pink?" Kurt quips.

The quip made Mercedes laugh before she adds, "...and magenta, ...and silver pink, and dusty rose, The Berrys hired a Party Coordinator"

"It shows"

"You two?" A voice came came from the dance floor. It causes both Kurt and Mercedes turned and look in unison to find the source. They both find a dark haired woman with a mic-headset on and a clipboard in hand.

"Are you both from Table 1?" The party planner asked.

"That was how the seating chart read." Kurt acknowledged.

"Good - We are about to make _'The Grand Entrance'_ and we need you two in the greenroom."

The news made Kurt more than raise an eyebrow. he turned to Mercedes. "Did you know anything about this?" he asks.

Mercedes nods. "I was given explicit directions to find you and fill you in. Rachel's sort of roped me and her cousin in to be her 'Royal Court' Evie wanted to sit with her boy friend and so to add balance I asked to be sat with you. No major commitments unless you want to help me help Rachel

Kurt laughed. "So it's basically business as usual"

Mercedes giggled and answered Kurt with a monosyllable, "Yep."

The woman with the mic was once again talking "I have the last two members of the 'Royal Court' here with me. We're on our way to the greenroom"

Kurt smirked and looked over at Mercedes. "Tell me Is it me or does this seem way too techy for a birthday party?"

"Tell me about it." Mercedes retorted with the same giggle as before.

*******

**THE HUDSON-HUMMEL HOUSE**

The smell of pancakes was still in the air when Burt came home hoping to trade off his and his son's cars and grab a lunch. He saw the sink of unwashed dishes and a mixing bowl. He longed for pancakes but his new diet regiment meant this was off limits

"Ah???...Where are the boys?" Burt asks not seeing or hearing any sign of either boy.

Carol was putting away groceries and continues to talk through the chore. "I left them off at the JCC for Rachel's birthday party."

"Oh great!" Burt was now bleated out. "I was depending on them helping me with the work load."

"Finn will be by later to help you. Kurt has something he is working on for school."

Burt started to object and Carol was looking for a way out of having to tell Burt what was going on.

"It's alright I've already discussed it with Finn," Carol said. "Finn for the next couple weeks will be putting in more hours."

"I thought we both agreed we weren't going play favorites."

Carol was still looking for an out. "I know but this one-on-one Finn is getting from you is what he needs right now"

"I am going to hold you to that" Burt said as he opens the refrigerator. He sees the Jenny Craig waiting for him in the fridge. What was it today. The semi-opaque Tupperware is enough to reveal the meal identity _Beef Merlot with a vegetable medley, not bad._ Burt could think of worse offerings. He closes the door but stops when he sees a receipt being held up by a magnet "Do you need this receipt on the fridge?

"I am saving that out for Finn" came Carol's answer midway between putting groceries away.

Burt leans in for a closer inspection of the receipt. His eyes go large when he sees that is for $214. "So you were able to find a Nintendo 3D? after all...at a music store?"

Carol stops cold. She is not certain how to answer. The truth? "It's not for a Nintendo 3D." That much she could say. "Everywhere I've asked about the Nintendo 3D keeps saying the same thing; And Gamsstop said there was some kind of overseas mix-up - so now wont be out until next year. I meant the receipt is his."

"It's over $200 I wasn't aware Finn had that kind of money"

"He doesn't I'm loaning Finn the money until he can work it off."

"$200? That's kind of steep. What's so important Finn couldn't wait until he had the money."

"It isn't for Finn," "It-it's for Kurt." Carol could see Burt wasn't following her. "Look I wanted to wait until I had more time to explain this." Carol's starts to feel warily. "I didn't want to have to tell you something and then leave you hanging while I went to work."

"Why, what's going on?" Burt asked his wife.

"It's better that you sit" Carol orders.

"Uh oh, I'm not sure I like where this is heading." Burt said taking a seat in a kitchen chair

"The purchase is for Kurt but the reason Finn is paying for it is because this is what Finn decided would be his punishment for something he did Kurt two years ago. It involved balloons that he and six other boys did to Kurt

Burt's drew a long breath. "I knew it!" he says. "I knew Kurt wasn't telling me the truth when he said he didn't know who threw those balloons" 

"Kurt didn't tell you what happened in part because he was threatened if he said anything"

"Are you saying Finn threatened my son? To silence him? Just like that boy Korofsky did?"

"No, I am not saying that. Kurt said there was a ringleader. Someone who was quarterback at the time. Finn didn't become the quarterback until last year."

"But Finn and six other guys ganged up on Kurt"

"There's a whole lot more Kurt has been keeping from you that he was just too scared and ashamed to tell you."

"I knew all along Kurt wasn't telling me the whole story...but how did you find out?" Burt was now asking.

"Yesterday I over heard the boys talking about it. I don't think I have ever been this ashamed of Finn. So Finn and I agreed that part of his punishment would be paying to have Kurt's horn cleaned and overhauled"

"But Carol, hun, I did all that. And Kurt still complained about the smell"

Carol kept looking for an out but kept on feeling like she was being pulled in deeper "Burt, if you only knew what those boys did to Kurt you would understand that it wasn't the smell that was the problem"

"Am I missing something?" Burt now asked.

"I rather we talk about this later"

"Just how bad can this be?" 

"Oh God, what those boys did was followed that sweet angel into a bathroom where all Kurt wanted to do was washed up. But they blocked the exits so Kurt couldn't escape. They striped Kurt naked, and they forced Kurt to simulate performing a blow job using the mouthpiece of his horn all while they mocked Kurt about being gay and feminine....And they did this after they first dunked the horn into an un-flushed dirty toilet before they forced it into his mouth."

"And YOU let Finn go to a party?!?" Burt snapped.

"Believe me I wanted to ground Finn. But Kurt told me to go easy on Finn. Kurt believes Finn may have been trying to stick up for him. I still can't let this go. There may have been someone else pulling the strings Finn should have still come forward and said something; reported this boy."

"Does this other quarterback have a name"

"Kyle Daniels." Carol said his name slowly, as if saying the name slowly would delay telling Burt everything else. "Kurt thought it was hazing that this Kyle kept pushing the team to do whatever he said. Kurt also said Kyle's parents worked for the school so it made it possible for him to do anything and get away with it. Kyle told Kurt that he was going beat the crap of him and then pull strings to have Kurt be the one expelled by stating it was Kurt who came on to him." Carol's eyes were tearing up.

"Carol? What is it? - Is there more?"

Carol nodded. "There's more to this Burt but I just can't. I can't because what Kurt told me yesterday crushed me. That day, after Kurt got home. Kurt said he felt broken, so hurt, so alone that he that he didn't want to live anymore - Kurt said what happened pushed him over the edge. Burt what I am trying to say is Kurt tried to comi....

"Kurt tried to kill himself? I went through this with Kurt last year. He told me and that counselor lady; Miss Pillsbury, that sure he felt lonely but he also insisted that under no means he could he be able to go through with it...are you saying he lied?"

"Kurt took pills and tried to drown himself in the bathtub at your old house."

"Okay, I had enough!" Burt said, his chair scraped across the floor of the kitchen as he got up quickly from his seat. "Where the hell is this Kyle kid now?!"

"Us going after Kyle like this won't solve anything."

"God dammit, Carol, I want to kill this bastard!" Burt snapped.

"Finn said he now plays college ball with Texas A&M...it's not like we can get on a plane and go down there...Where would we look? Other than the Cotton Bowl their seasons over

For the moment it made him happy his wife could talk football and know what she was talking about. But he still wanted to kill this Kyle bastard. "What do we do then Carol - How do I help my boy?"

"I asked Kurt what he wanted as restitution he only told me to go easy Finn. So I told Finn to come up with a suitable punishment or he would be grounded. Finn told me this morning he wanted to repair Kurt's horn. Finn's a good kid Burt"

"I know that. Heck before our wedding Finn took me aside and confessed to me how he used to bully Kurt. Finn said he did things he wasn't proud of...That he lost count how many swirlies and dumpster tosses there had been. He even said how he and some of the guys egged our house. But Finn never told me about this. Finn did say it all stopped after he he joined the choir...If Kurt is saying Finn tried to stop it…I'll believe him. What I like to know is why now...why is this happening now"

Kurt is being considered for a scholarship. Dalton gives it out every year to their top five Juniors so they can then spend their senior year they getting seen by college deans. Kurt said the man running the selection committee is the head guidance counselor. Yesterday he asked about the W Kurt got in orchestra. Kurt said his memory after that came flooding back with a panic attack. This head counselor still wishes to help Kurt. He sent papers home for us to sign about counseling."

"Counseling...what do you think, should we go though with it? "

"Are you asking as a nurse? Or as a mother?"

"Either one or both?" Burt asked.

"Burt I have been around trauma both physical and mental most of my career. Long enough to know the brain switches off like this it's to protect itself. Now that this is out...Kurt will need time to process all this but in a healthy way. He will need our support. But I also think we can't do this alone, I really think Kurt needs counseling.

*******

**THE JCC PARKING LOT**

Outside The Lima JCC Finn waited for Puck. He was expecting to see Puck arrive on his motorcycle. This was Puck's typical mode of transportation, not driving into the lot in Lauren Zizes' car. Puck parked Zizes' car and came up the walkway with Zizes leading the way.

Finn from the smaller motorcycle lot had to play catch up "Puck wait up" Once he was caught up he looks at Lauren. What he had to was for Puck's ears not for her's. "Hey I'm sorry Lauren, but it's kind of private " Finn orders.

Lauren Zizes rolls her eyes "Whatever" and walks ahead towards the doors of the JCC. "Meet you inside losers"

"What-up?" Puck asks.

"It's Kurt, He remembers what we did to him" Finn answers back.

Puck stares blankly. "You're gonna have to be more specific than that"

"That time in the bathroom?" Finn states trying to jog Puck's memory.

But Puck shook his head it still wasn't specific enough.

"Freshman year?" Finn now adds. "Remember after we chased him off the field with the pee balloons"

"Oh that time! Didn't we like break his tuba or something?"

"You did that. I am talking about when we double pants him!"

"So what I pants lots of dweebs"

"We also forced his horn piece into his mouth after it had been dunked in a dirty toilet....we made him act like he was giving a blow job to it"

"Hey, I didn't go that far! That part was a little too gay for my liking. But what's the big deal Kurt knows we were only kidding"

Puck I am telling you, we need to come clean. Kurt told his counselor at Dalton. This counselor is going to file a police report for a sexual battery"

"Oh shit!" Puck exclaimed, finally getting the real picture.

"Tell me about it. My mom gave me an earful this morning. She said that the police might not do anything to us. Something about insane double standard. But since you're my bro, I thought if the police come knocking you and I are going to need to be on the same page."

"I missed that catch on purpose." Puck now admitted.

Finn nodded. "Everybody in the bathroom knew that you did that."

"I don't want to go back to Mondale"

"Then are you with me?" Finn asked.

"I have no choice it's either this of juvie

"We'll talk to Shane on Monday" Finn said.

"That Murphy guy will never go against Kyle "

"We'll first talk to guys who were the seniors. Gary... Levinson and and somebody... Franklin?" 

"Frank Carrea he works at the Kewpies over by the Interstate."

"If we talk to them first if will force Dan's hand"

"Only one small problem," Puck now remarked. "Nobody has seen Dan Murphy since he graduated"

"Somebody has to know where he is" Finn answered back. 

*******

**THE GREENROOM**

Mercedes and Kurt were led into the greenroom by one of the party planners - once in the room Mercedes took over and continued to lead Kurt to meet the only people in the room who she knew and who happened to be in the same age group.. "This is Rachel's cousin Evie and her boyfriend Issac. I only just met them today at Temple." Mercedes informs Kurt. 

Kurt looked at the both Evie and Issac but the moment Kurt saw Evie he was stunned; Stunned because if you changed Evie's eye color and stuck her in one of Rachel's reindeer sweaters Evie would be Rache;'s twin. Only what Evie was wearing a modest charcoal gray dress that was a smaller size version of Mercedes' dress with same dusty pink bow around its waist. Evie also had the same hair and make-up treatment as Mercedes. Kurt was still stuck on how much she looked like Rachel. Kurt looked at Mercedes wondering if he was only imagining the likeness

"Uncanny isn't it?" she said answering Kurt's unspoken questioning gaze. Turning to Rachel's cousin she then says "Evie, Issac, this is my best friend Kurt Hummel. Until recently he used to go to McKinley, with me"

"Oh so you've received an early entrance to college?" Issac asked.

"No, I am attending Dalton Academy in Westerville however recently I was told I am a candidate for their accelerated program."

"You never told me that" Mercedes chimed.

"Yeah, Mercedes I just learned about it Thursday." 

"Mazel Tov Kurt. You know I sometimes make it into Westerville when my rowing crew practices on the Hoover Reservoir. Do you know it?"

"Hoover Reservoir?" Kurt shook his head. "I have been at Dalton for only five weeks and most of that has been..." Kurt was going to finish his last sentence with 'in books' but the next three words out of his mouth were: "Oh my god!"

"What?" Mercedes asks, watching Kurt's eyes grow wider in surprise.

"It's Rachel... Look!" Kurt answered, as he nudging Mercedes into looking in the right direction until she finally had a lock.

All eyes were on now on Rachel as she entered from a side-door into the greenroom. Rachel's dress is layers of pink tulle and the tight-strapless bodice of floral lace and Swarovski Crystals made her look very much like a princess. The perfect hair and makeup finished the look. Rachel bashfully smiles at the attention she was getting, even Evie's boyfriend Issac cooed.

"Damn Evie, If we don't work out can I date your cousin?"

"No," Evie answered as firmly as she could. "and as much as I love my cousin I wouldn't want to wish her on anyone."

Mercedes holds back the urge to snicker - It didn't seem right laughing at Rachel's expense on her birthday and yet Mercedes couldn't help but think how much her and Evie only just met and already seemed to agree on so much.

Of all the people in the room Rachel also had the same idea to gather where the people her own age were at. "I see you all met each other" Rachel says, stating the obvious.

"Rachel," Kurt stated in awe. "you look positively stunning."

"Yes girl that dress is incredible" Mercedes echoed.

"Awe guys you both are the best. And It's why I made you my 15th Candle. You even got Finn to come. So I can't thank you enough."

"Did you change the order?" Kurt asked.

Rachel began to grow angry. "I don't know why he has to be so difficult about this," her reply came off heated. But just as quickly she calms back down again. "I made Finn my 9th candle now."

"And what does that candle mean?

"It just means we're friends nothing more"

"Speaking of which," Kurt's face suddenly lights up with a sustained glow. "Blaine sent me a text this morning he asked me to extend his birthday wishes

"OMG Kurt - your face, you are totally crushing on him."

"No, I am not," Kurt tried to deny.

"Yes you are!" Rachel said nodding and reaffirming her position. 

"No I am not"

"Okay," Rachel said not believing Kurt for a second. "If you are not why was it you chose Dalton and not somewhere closer?"

"Okay I like him. Maybe I like him so much it hurts not knowing where we stand."

"What a pair we are. Both of us standing on heartache road hoping the sun comes up to show us there's something still there"

"Whose quote is that? I like it"

"Daddy LeRoy. He has these saying. He told me that one right after Finn called"

"Finn still loves you Rachel. I think you just need to give him more time to come around."

"I am hoping you're right. Well Kurt, while we're waiting is there anyone you have't met yet?" Rachel asks, Kurt with the intent to do introductions if they were required.

"You mean aside from your doppelganger?" Kurt shook his head. "I don't know anybody here"

"Mercedes had her introductions this morning. Which means It's your turn."

"There she is," Hiram loudly proclaimed as his daughter drew near. " Such a stunning vision to behold!" Hiram holds his daughter's hand high above her head as he gives her a twill. The long length of the gown bows and Rachel is loving every moment of it with a giddy school girl laugh.

"What Hiram said," LeRoy says and not to mess up his daughter's makeup he gives a side hug with an air kiss: "You look so beautiful today that I didn't want to risk spoiling your makeup, but Happy birthday sweetie."

"Thank you daddies!" Rachel says in an almost Juvenal chime. "Dads," Rachel's voice now reverts back to something more adult: "I want to introduce my best friend Kurt Hummel"

The two men knew of Kurt through Rachel either by lauding Kurt up or cursing him down - but until then they never had a face to go with the name. "Oh to be so young," Hiram says. "...and gay" LeRoy finishes.

Awkward silence followed the remark that landed like a led balloon. While Rachel stayed off secondhand embarrassment and Kurt shakes off the remark entirety, LeRoy on the other hand was doing his best to recover by starting up another conversation "Our Daughter tells us you have quite the musical range." he now says.

Kurt looks at Rachel. "You said that about me?"

"I told my dads all about our Defying Gravity diva-off last year. I said how I thought you were so close that I thought with proper training you would have made that high F"

Kurt drew a thin smile and managed to mutter under his breath _[OMG How does Rachel not know I blew that note on purpose? Or that I hit even higher notes when singing Le Hot Jazz?]_

"Rachel also said that bullying caused you to switch schools." Hiram was now saying. "Such a shame. Just when you think we've come so far you hear about something like this."

"They say that living well is the best revenge" LeRoy chimes in.

"Live well Kurt. Any friend of our Rachel is a friend..." Hiram mid sentence stops, like he lost his train of thought.

Kurt simply thanks both men. "Thank you, Mr. and Mr. Berry, it was a pleasure."

Rachel looked at Kurt with a sheepish smile. "Look I know that was probably awkward but aren't all parents? At least that's what I have heard"

"Rachel, I get it. It's was actually kind of sweet there at the end. And I cant believe you told them about our Diva Off. " Kurt stops. He wonders if now should be the time he tells Rachel how he blew the note. But thinking this only makes him think of something more revealing. Kurt now had a better idea who cranked-called his dad.

"What," Rachel asks.

"Nothing," Kurt brushes wanting to say anything because that crank call his dad got...the one that made him blow the note. The Caller ID was a Texas number, and wasn't Kyle accepted at Texas A&M?

"Well if it's nothing then let met introduce you to more of my family...Over here is my aunt Shelly"

"Pleasure to meet you Mrs..."

"Green, Mr. Green is over there with our boys Mike and Aaron"

Kurt looked and saw an average looking 40-something year old man, but the two boys both were wearing matching black tailed tuxedos that each had their ties and cummerbunds in blush pink color. Kurt assume some unstated purpose why they were the only ones dress like this. Kurt only smiled, saying how [The tuxedos] "suddenly I feel somewhat under-dressed"

"We have boutonnieres if you want to wear one but you look fine. You always do. Besides my cousins Mike and Aaron are dress because they are my shoes and tiara bearers. My Granny Barr is crowning me with my Tiara and my Dads are giving me my shoes." Rachel leads Kurt over to a table that had a clear floral box with boutonnieres picks one out and starts to pin on the boutonniere of a pink color rose surrounded by contrasting darker pink color of waxflowers

"Explains the bedroom slippers..."

"Hey! I could poke you" Rachel says still with boutonniere and its pin in hand

"I wasn't going to say anything - I thought you were making a statement"

"Sweet sixteen celebrations are not typical Jewish. Not with a Bar or Bat Mitzvah being our coming of age party. Only I didn't have one. Party that is. So My aunt is pulling out all the stops. She's the who one who planned this all for me you know..." Rachel had finally gotten the boutonniere to how she liked it "There purfect." she says taking a moment to admire the boutonniere and pat back down the lapel of Kurt's jacket

"Oh? Then I guess it is your Aunt Shelly who I should be saying how fantastic it looks out there?"

Shelly Green was close enough to overhear her name and come forward to say "Thank you," there was also something else on her mind she couldn't take her eyes off Kurt. 

Kurt found it off putting but managed to answer Rachel's aunt. "You are welcome. It really does look fantastic out there."

"I was standing over there and I could help but think how familiar your face look to me" Rachel's aunt says, the whole time concentrating on Kurt's face.

"I'm sorry?" Kurt uttered in disbelief.

"I am certain of it, we met before today" Mrs Green replies. "I never forget a face"

"My father has a service station in town; 'Hummel's Tires and Lube', perhaps that's where you've seen me?"

"No..," She said shaking her head. "It wasn't there." She continues to think. "Yes, I remember now... It was at West Lima's School of Ballet where I used to take Rachel and my daughter Evie for lessons"

"That was years ago. And you still recognized me?"

No one was more surprise than Rachel. "Are you saying it's true? That you really took ballet?"

"Yeah Rachel, for about 6 years."

"This is so weird." Rachel continued to chime.

"It's not that weird," Kurt retorted in protest. "I also took three years of Irish Step"

"Did you?"

Kurt nods "The name's German but we're Irish"

"My Aunt used to be a dancer. She was really good at it. But no, what I meant was we keep finding places our paths have crossed."

"That's Lima for you," Kurt starts to giggle. "It's such a small town you practically have to go out side of it to change your mind." Kurt finished with a sardonic smile.

Rachel's aunt Shelly laughs. "That's one of the reasons I left it the other is for the private schools where my children attend."

The woman with the mic and clipboard was now back. "I've just checked with the emcee - I am told the thrown chair has been moved back into place and we''re ready to proceed. I would like for all of you to line up and when you're introduced please proceed across the dance floor to your seats. Except for The Guest of Honor, the fathers, Grandma Barr, and the two boys. Can I see where Mike and Aaron Green are, please? 

"I am here" Mike called out.

"So am I" the younger boy Aaron called out.

"Great Do you understand your part in this?

"Yeah" both boys said simultaneously

The party planner still repeated the plan/ "When you walk in you will be carrying the tiara and shoes. Just like you did in practice. You are to remain until The Guest of Honor is seated at which point you will hand the Tiara off to Granny Barr and the Shoes off the the dads. Dads; immediately following the placement of the crown you will remove the slippers and put on the new shoes to signify the transition into woman hood. Granny Barr after The Guest of Honor is seated you will remove the tiara from its box place it on The Guest of Honor's head you then will be escorted by Aaron

"Oh God." Rachel stated in a panic. "Please tell them to give me a second - I have to change my whole 15th candle speech" 

"Rachel they are waiting for us" Rachel's aunt replied.

"I Just need a minute" Rachel says

"15th candle speech?" Kurt asked.

Aunt Shelly answered. "During the candle lighting Rachel will give a speech before each of us is called up to help Rachel light her candles" 

*******

**GRAND ENTRANCE**

A man on the dance floor with a mic began making introductions starting with his own. He said: "Shalom," several guest repeated "Shalom," back at him. "I am Jack Rosenberg. I am the Master of Ceremonies today. When The Berrys call me up and asked if I was available I of course said yes. To get a chance to once again work along side two great entertainers of song and dance... How could I not say yes? But then I met the real reason we are all here. Their beautiful daughter and Guest of Honor, Rachel Berry. She is not just a lovely woman she also has an amazing voice. A voice I am so please to announce you will all get a chance to hear today. So as you see by this Elegant Baroque style Throne Chair that was just brought out we are about ready to call out our VIP guests. As I call each of the VIPs I want you to give each of them a warm round of applause.

Now can we please direct our attention to the double doors on the side of the room as each VIP guest enters I want to put your hands together and give a warm welcome. Each guest will enter the room proceed down here to this big chair and stay long enough for a photo. We ask if you haven't already please mute your cell phones and please no flash photography. Photos of this event will be made available

And now without further a do it is my privileged and honor to proceed with this afternoon's events starting with the introduction of Guest of the Honor's Royal Court. So please put your hands together as we welcome in LeRoy and Hiram Berry - The proud parents. A background music starts to play; the song playing is 'Through the years' By: Kenny Rogers. The Berry's have their photos taken and they remain standing on one side of the thrown chair.

The emcee took to his mic again as he was ready to call in the next guest. Now I like to call The Guest of Honor's Grandparents all the way from Philly. Let's hear it up for Solphia and Frank Cherry. ('Through the years' continues to play while the Cherry's have their pictures taken. The Emcee is asking for more applause. "Can we one more time give them a nice round of applause." The Cherry's take their seat at Table 3.

"Keep those hands together as we introduce our next guest, The matriarch of the Barr family and well known philanthropist for the arts Merrill Barr. She walks across the dance floor with a certain poise that only comes from age. At the end of the dance floor she too stays but on the other side of the thrown chair.

"Next up is The Guest of Honor's Aunt and Uncle The Green's Can we get a nice round of applause for the Greens." Again photos of them are taken before they depart for their seats on Table 2.

"And now...can we keep our eyes focused on those double doors as we now welcome in Shoe and Tiara Bearers Micheal and Aaron Green. I am told Micheal is new this year to The Torah Academe in Columbus and Aaron just celebrated his Bar Mitzvah. Mazel tov boys!" The two boys walk their two cases down they too remain standing flanking the chair.

And now for Rachel's Sweet 16 maids... Miss Mercedes Jones with escort Kurt Hummel and Miss Evie Green and escort Issac Newman -- The two maids with their escorts took their seats at Table 1

And finally will everyone please stand as we welcome in The Guest of Honor the lovely and talented Miss Rachel Berry! Mozel Tov and happy birthday to the birthday girl. And can I get one last round of applause

Once Rachel was seated the emcee was back again on his mic. "Now as you all take your seats again we will proceed with the crowning." Granny Barr reached into the clear box containing a satin pillow with a resting tiara on top taking out she places the tiara on Rachel's head she lets the side clips comb into Rachel's hair . After the crowning Granny Barr kissed her granddaughter's cheek and she was then escorted to Table 2 by her grandson Aaron. "Next in line is The Shoe exchange" Everybody watches as both of Rachel's dads perform the shoe exchange removing her bedroom slippers and putting on the pair of pumps that had been in the other glass case. After the pumps were strapped on she stood up and the emcee took to his mic again. "Isn't she lovely? And now..." The emcee continued speaking. "for the customary Father Daughter Dance. Both men then lead Rachel out to the middle of dance floor for the dance (The song that plays is 'She' By: Elvis Costello)

Everybody is watching as each dad took turns dancing with their daughter. Issac is holding Evie's hand not only because he likes her but that he also wishes he could be dancing with her out on the dance floor with them. But is wasn't his turn yet, he knew that.

"What? Evie asked. But Issac instead of saying what he really wanted he leans in and asks Evie "Which one is the father?"

Everything was going so well until this point. Evie' face was now awash with the look of terror on her face. Her boyfriend continued to ponder which father was which..

"I mean Rachel kind of looks like you - But I didn't want to say anything in case I was wrong or something."

"Both are!" she states affirmatively.

"I get that they are married but I meant which is the real dad?..the biologically dad?"

"I could tell you but don't want you to EVER say anything about this EVER AGAIN. Do you get that you can't!" She couldn't lie. Not to Issac not the man she one day intended to marry. "Do you want the truth? The truth of it is when my Granddad died there was a stipulation in his Will that said Rachel would be denied any inheritance unless it could be proven Rachel was a Barr... I love knowing Rache' is my cousin by blood," Evie shook her head. "And I know this should be a no brainer to everyone because she looks so much like me. but Rachel likes not knowing. She wants to regard both dads as just that: her dads. I simply hate knowing the truth and worse why it was even found out - It's unfair to Uncle LeRoy he has always been kind and nice to me ...I love all those sayings of his, he even taught me how to drive. I think he's just as much Rachel's dad as Uncle Hiram is. So I am being dead serious Rachel can't know anything about this it would break her heart and Uncle LeRoy's heart if Uncle Hiram hasn't already told him."

Evie now looked at Mercedes. "Please I don't know how much of that you heard but please Mercedes Rachel can't know" 

"Yes of course," Mercedes answered. "My lips are sealed" Mercedes looked at Kurt who was just as shock as she was.

Evie also looked at Kurt expecting a similar answer from him.

"I wont say a word and you are right I think this would break Rachel's heart"

As the dance concluded and the last chords of Elvis Costello could be heard Rachel left the dance floor to find her seat at Table 1 while her dads left for Table 2. Once again the emcee on his mic announcing that the Kiddush and Motzi would begin shortly But first I like to call to the front all the men from the Cherry and Barr families....and Rabbi Greenberg

**THE KIDDUSH AND MOTZI;**

Rabbi Greenberg began the service first by the washing his hands. Using a two handled pitcher and a basin after he pours water over each hand and drying them with a cloth. After he is finished Rachel, her granddad, and her two dads and Uncle Green all did the same.

Several guests in the center now stand as the Rabbi proceeded to blessed the wine. singing:

**_"V’Shamru v’nei Yisrael et Ha-Shabbat, la’asot et Ha-Shabbat l’dorotam b’rit olam beni u’vein b’nei Yisrael ot hi l’olam ki sheishet yamim asah Adonai et ha-shamayim v’et ha-aretz u’vayom ha’shevi’i shavat vayinafash._ **

after this first part of the blessing many who were standing now sat down and the Rabbi continued to sing:

**_Zachor et yom Ha-Shabbat l’kadsho sheshet yamim ta’avod v’asita kol melachtecha uvayom ha-shevi’i Shabbat l’Adonai Eloheicha lo ta’aseh kol melacha ata uvincha uvitecha v’avdecha v’amat’cha u’v’hemtecha v’geircha asher bish’arecha. Ki sheshet yamim asa Adonai et ha-shamayim v’et ha-aretz et ha-yam v’et kol asher bam, vayanach bayom ha-shevi’i Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, borei p’ri hagafen. Al kein beirach Adonai et Yom HaShabbat vay’kadsheihu._ **

**_Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, borei p’ri hagafen._ **

The Rabbi took the wine cup and holds it in the palm of his right hand and he drinks. He then pours another for himself and he also pours wine into each of the cups set aside for Grandpa Frank, Hiram and Leroy, uncle Micheal, and Rachel they all do the same. Rachel's Rabbi next removed the cloth that had been covering two loaves of bread and he makes a single knife cut into one of the loaves.

And then holding both loaves up the Rabbi sings again:

**_"Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha’olam ha’motzi lechem min ha’aretz."_ **

After he was finished e set both loaves back down onto the bread plate the makes a slice where he had made the first cut. The Rabbi then takes a slice for himself and he dips it three times into salt before eating it. He then cuts slices one each for Grandpa Frank, Hiram, Leroy, Uncle Green, and Rachel.

Before we break for lunch The Guest of honor would like to perform one last ceremony which we will conclude with the singing of Happy Birthday.

**CANDLE LIGHTING CEREMONY**

The emcee handed off his mic to Rachel who was still standing at the table in front. I like to first thank everyone for coming here. You are all so very special to me. I love each and everyone of you and that you all could make it here on my 16th Birthday. But I know some of you might be thinking why Sweet 16? Didn't I have a Bat Mitzvah like four years ago? To answer that I feel the need tell you a story; A rather sad story really. You see four years ago just three days before my Bat Mitzvah we lost someone very important and dear in our family. My Granddad Yosef Barr. He was a cornerstone in the community and and elder in his faith. And the result of loosing such an incredible man was grave. It hit all of us hard. The reception for my Bat Mitzvah was cancelled. I was told we could always reschedule at sometime when we all felt better or I could wait four years and I could have a Sweet 16 party instead. When I saw what loosing a husband, a father, and grandfather was doing to all of us, it only made sense I should wait the four years. So here we are four years later, and Granpa Yosef is still very much missed.

I had this song in mind when planing my Bat Mitzvah and I remember my Grandpa always loved it but but I never got to sing it for him or at my Bat Mitzvah. I also remembered the candle order for a Sweet 16 is different than it is for a Bat Mitzvah. There is no candle for those we loved and lost. The solution is I wish to now change up the order and dedicated a my first candle for my Grandpa Barr. Before I do that I wish to sing this song as a dedication to him. Rachel sings **_'Shema Yisrael'_**

The MC took to his mike again. "Wow! That was lovely and so very touching Rachel. Can I get a round of applause for The Guest of Honor. What a set of pipes too!"

"Thanks Jack. At this time I like to first ask my Sweet 16 maids to come assist me.

Kurt had a moment of panic when Mercedes got up out of her seat along with Evie he somewhat abandoned as watched both ladies leave their table for where Rachel stood. But he soon chucked at seeing that Evie was carrying a pink Decoflex igniter. Even the candle lighter was pink! he mused. Evie lit the first of eighteen candles and set the igniter down. I next like to call up Granny Merrill, Daddy Hiram , and my aunt Shelly Green so that you can help me in lighting my first candle for grandpa. (The song that plays while the first candle is being lit is One Sweet Day By: Mariah Carey)

After the Candle was lit Granny Merrill, Daddy Hiram , and aunt Shelly were moved to thanking Rachel.

"I can't believe you did this. You said you wanted to sing but this??? Thank you."

"This was a real nice gesture." Hiram said to his daughter. Leaning near his sister's ear he also said "I cant remember the last time I seen mom this please by anyone"

"They both have their moments" The four of them posed for a photo and when the photographer raised his hand to say he got what he wanted. Granny Merrill Barr was smiling at Rachel one last time. After departing to Table 2 Rachel was reading herself for the candle by exchanging the lighting candle for the mic.

"For my Second Candle" Rachel said into the mic. "I like to call up my Grandma Sophie and my Grandpa Frank Cherry; I love that even though you live so far away you still come to see me. You came four years ago too. When I never got to have my reception. I am actually grateful that you are here today -You are half the reason I am here at all. You are all of the reason why I became a vegan. I love that even though you are in Philadelphia I can still call you up for some of your vegan recipes - like your Ginger Cauliflower or your Mushroom Gnocchi with Basil Pesto sauce- But what I love best about you both is your son/my dad LeRoy. Could you both come up and help me with my second candle. Rachel reaches behind her to take the lighting candle from Mercedes and she gives Evie the mic. (The song that plays is 'You Raise Me Up' By: Josh Groban)

Rachel hands Mercedes the lighting candle so like the trio before, S can pose with the Cherry side of her family before they returned to their seat.

My Third Candle is for my Grandmother Merrill Elaine Barr. If the Cherry's are half the reason why I am here, you and Grandpa Yosef are the other half and just like the Greens what I love best about you is tour son/my dad Hiram. I also would be amiss if I didn't also thank you with Aunt Shelly for your help with putting this on for me. I would love it if for you came up to share this moment with me by helping me light my third candle. (The song that plays is while Rachel and granny Barr light the third candle is: 'You are the sunshine of my life' By: Stevie Wonder)

after each guest was called up the candle and the mic would be traded off. After each lighting of a candle the photographer took a picture of each called candle lighters. After three times It was becoming a pattern... get Mic, leave Mic/get Candle, leave Candle/take Photos, repeat.

"For my Fourth Candle," Rachel went on. "I like to call up Aunt Shelly and Uncle Mike. First about my Aunt; She is such an amazing talented dancer. You help plan this incredible Sweet 16 Party. And like Granny Barr I also can't thank you enough. For everything. This whole day has been the best day in my life. But what makes you so special to me is you have been the closest thing I had having a mom. Last year I might have learned who my birth mom really was but this was minor because much of my early life you were the only mom figure there for me. Your brother/my dad doesn't drive. So he often relied on you to take me to all my lessons...and I thank you for that too. My Uncle Mike is also so talented...and smart He's a teacher at the Jewish Day School in Columbus. I appreciated all you both have done to help shape me into the woman I am. If I am half the woman you are aunt Shelly I should count myself lucky. Would you both please come up here and help me light my sixth candle." Rachel's aunt got out of her seat and came forward from Table 2. (The song playing while the three of them light the candle together is: ** I'II hope you Dance' By: Lee Ann Womack**)

My Fifth Candle is for two absolute cuties...my cousins Micheal and Aaron. I want to thank you being part of my Royal Court today and for carrying in my shoes and my tiara. Will both of you please come up and help me light my seventh candle?" (The song that plays while the three of them light the candle together is **'I just can’t wait to be king' By: Lion King**)

My Six Candle is for is for my Cousin Evie. I miss having you around Evie. When we were growing up here in Lima you were the closest I had to having a sister. It made me feel less like an only child. Your mom took us to the same Ballet and tap lessons. I want to also thank you for being part of my Royal Court today. And now that I am 16 I am hoping Columbus wont seem so far away anymore now that I will be learning to drive. Evie will you come up and help me light my sixth candle? (The song that plays while they light the candle together is **'Hey Soul Sister:' By: Train**).

My Seventh Candle for Mercedes Candle Mercedes. Mercedes is The Captain of the Interfaith Club at school and the lead singer in her church choir. You are so talented and smart and perhaps one of the kindest persons I know. Thank you for agreeing to be part of my Royal Court today but noot only that but agreeing to coming with me to Temple. Mercedes will you please help me light my seventh candle? (the song that plays while Mercedes and Rachel are lighting the seventh candle is: **'Thank you for being a friend' By: Andrew Gold**)

My Eight Candle is for all my friends and co-worker here at the JCC . Amanda, Jo, and Sam all of us who make up The JCC Dance Crew and together teach Hip-Hop, Swing, Ballet, Jazz, Tap Dance" Rachel points to herself on the last one. I want to especially thank you for volunteering to help me today. You help set up, and usher in guest and manned the reception tables up front. Did I mention they volunteered? The three of you are so talented and awesome. I cant thank you enough being here. Will the three of you please join me and help me with my eight candle? (The song that plays while they came to the front and during the candle lighting is ** 'Alors On Danse' By: Stromae**)

"My Ninth Candle There's so much I can say about my next guy. Until his RSVP this morning he was slated to be my 16th candle. Perhaps in one small way he still is. But Finn I hurt you. Although you have mentioned how I had I said I'm sorry plenty enough times - I am saying sorry once more - In front of all theses people I want to say I made a mistake. It's mine. You are beautiful Finn for me you just are. I don't think you understand just how magical you are. I am privileged to call you my friend even if it might not ever be what we once had. I would be honored it you came up and helped me light my ninth candle, Will you?"

Finn had to think about it inside his head was Kurt voice saying it was just a party. But was it? He never been to anything this fancy he felt sort of obligated to do what Rachel wanted. He felt all these eyes narrowing in on him like those in The New Directions had already sussed him out. So like the other who lit each candle he too finally got up and came forward while the song that plays is ** 'Please Forgive Me' By: Brian Adams.**

Rachel beamed and when Finn had gotten close enough for her to whisper "Thank you Finn" Finn manages to smile although it is clear he also is uncomfortable. Still side-by-side they both lit the ninth candle. When it was burning there was applause before the MC had even asked for it.

"That was heart warming. Lets hope what ever it was they were quarreling about can be worked out"

Finn looked at the MC. He wasn't sure if that was going to happen. He stayed long enough to have the photograph taken before returning to his seat.

My 10th my birth-mom. She also could not be here today. But she sent me a telegram saying how she is stuck in New York with Beth and that she couldn't be here today. Even though she is not here to hear it I still would like to give my candle speech... So much of my life I didn't really know you were. what you looked like - I always assumed like me. I didn't know what perfume you wore. What color were your eyes, how you styled your hair, or more importantly if you could sing...Turns out you can sing but I didn't know this. I grew up never really knowing anything about you: My birth mom - Only that my dads must have loved you for giving me life. All this time without you and yet the very first time I saw you. I knew you were my mom. It was as if no time passed at all. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you answering my dad's wish for a surrogate. I am sorry that you wont be here to light my 10th candle but I will light it in your behalf. Here is what her telegram says: Dearest Rachel it is with extreme regret that I will not be attending your birthday. Please know I feel terrible and that I do know for you it must seem so unfair that once again when you need me that I unable to be there for you. On your 16th Birthday even. I send you my loved so that one day I will make it up missing your Birthday~ Shelby Corcoran. This is her singing, as Rachel lights the second candle a recording of he birth mom singing ** I Dreamed a Dreamed' From: Les Misérables** plays.

My 11th Candle is for the two most important people in my life: My two dads. Most people are lucky to have one man in their life to call dad: Someone who is there through thick and thin who supports you who teaches, who is there to catch you when you fall and yet know when to take the training wheels off and let you take your steps alone. I am just so lucky to have two such men in my life to call my dad. I love you both so much. Will my two dads please come up and help me light my first candle. A song starts to play as Rachel's dads approach. The song is **'You're The Top' From Anything Goes**

My 12th Candle is for all the girls of The New Directions: Tina, Lauren, Quinn, Santana, Brittany and once again Mercedes. You six are such incredible women each incredible and beautiful in your own right: Two of you are straight A students on the Honor Roll, One of you has managed to be both a rival and a good friend, One of you is perhaps the best dancer at McKinley, one of you might be taking home Olympic Gold in London in two years time, and lastly one of you is a such a triple threat other showchoirs tremble in fear not because you are from Lima Heights Adjacent but because you are just so talented and beautiful. I might not always say it but do I love you all will you all please come up and help me light my 12 Candle. (The song playing while the girls are called up and are helping Rachel light her 12th candle is **'I'm Every Woman'** **by Whitney Houston** )

My 13th Candle for the boys of The New Directions: Mike, Sam, Artie Puck and again Finn. With one exception you are all like brothers to me. Sam you are new this year to this family we call The New Directions I hope you know how lucky you are. Artie you prove that you don't need two legs to move people. Mike you are such an incredible dancer and your duet with Tina was so much fun. You are on your way to becoming a triple threat. Puch you are not my only Jewish friend but you are the only one who is a member of this fellowship. When you are not showing how tough you with you bad boy persona you are showing how trough you are by are by joining us showing us you have talent. And finally Finn what can I say that I haven't all ready. I love you? You all all so special and talented I would love it if you all came up here and helped me light my 13th Candle. (As the boy of The New Direction comes up to light the 13th Candle the song that is playing is **Bad Boys By: Gloria Estefan**)

My 14th Candle is for if for my wonderful music teacher Mr. William Schuester. He's the driector of The New Directions You have meet the last two groups I called up. This man this incredible man is our director. He is also a pretty good Spanish teacher, I took Sapnish with you my freshman year before you took over the Glee Club. The one leason you taught me that mattered to me the most was that Being a part of something special does not make you special. Something is special because you are a part of it... It is a lesson that I will forever take with me. Mr. Schue could you please come up and help me light my 14th candle? (The song that starts to play is **'Endless Love' By: Diana Ross & Lionel Richie**) as it plays Schue's face goes completely pail ...but then heard over the top of it there is a screeching halt sound that ends with sound broken glass... Rachel says "Just kidding Mr. Schue." (The new song the DJ now plays **'I Learned From You By: Miley Cyrus**) "Anything to get your heart pumping!" Schue now thinks it's one of the better jokes played on him.

"My 15 Candle is for my Best Friend Kurt." Rachel turns so she can both look at Kurt and talk to the room. "I know we haven't always seen eye to eye but our drive is the same we want the same things we are both so talented. When I was going over some old photos for my scrapbook poster-board I have up near the entrance I came across an old photo of you and me from 2004. You see I always thought we met each other last year when Mr. Schue started the glee-club back up. I remember what I said to you then: I said stars were meant to shine alone. I couldn't be more wrong...I was wrong about two things really. Because this photo (she holds up a photo) is us in 2004. I am here dressed as Little Red Riding Hood and I am next to you dressed as Jack. In the scene I am tricking you into going back up the bean stalk. And even here 2004 this wasn't the first time we met. As my Aunt Green just reminded me today. The two of us were both in ballet together. I don't think it's coincidental that we keep meeting up. I no longer believe stars shine alone. I think sometimes star-systems are binaries - That's is what we do for each other. We both make each other shine. Kurt would you like to come over here and help me light my 15th candle? (The song that plays is **'That's what friends are for' By: Dionne Warwick, Elton John, Stevie Wonder, and Gladys Knight**) after the candle was burning Rachel off handed the lighting candle to Evie and threw her arms around Kurt. "Come back to us Kurt, come back to McKinley"

"I don't know if I can, Rachel but I'll think about it" Kurt said/

Oh my," Rachel says dabbing her eyes with the index fingers. "My mascara is going to run. Okay, my 16th Candle is for everyone who I haven't asked up. Now I am not expecting for all of you to come up here there's really only room for six or so. So who I like to call is my two Sweet 16 maids Evie and Mercedes. But this candle is still for everyone who came. (The song that plays is **'We Are Family' By: Sister Sledge**)

My last candle is number 17th It's for wishing. I have so many wishes. If you really know me you know I have several wishes: Broadway, Bi-coastal homes. Back-to-back Tonys and maybe a Grammy...or two. But today I just have one wish. Rachel gave a quick glance over at Finn before lighting her wish candle. (The song that plays is **'My Wish' By: Rascal Flatts.** )

Now Mercedes passes the mic off to the emcee. who announces "Now will everybody please stand and join us in wishing the birthday girl a happy birthday.

Now on all the tables around the parameter lunch has been set up we have Vegetarian, Vegan, Meat and Fish options. After lunch please stay for the cutting of the cake. And later for dancing

**THE BUFFET**

Schue got to the buffet tables at the same time as Kurt. They are both eyeing the smoked salmon. Kurt looks at Schue waiting directly behind him. "I was going to ask how the gift went with Sue but Finn already filled me in. Tell me how does Sue keep getting away with this?"

"Hopefully she wont get away with it. I have a meeting with HR on Monday. Maybe I can have all our gifts donated to McKinny-Vento"

"That's the homeless advocacy group. The track suit should come in handy for keeping someone warm during the winter."

"Yes it would. Say if you like to donate anything else we're still taking donations"

"I will see what I can do. I am also involved in a charity. It's a joint Dalton/Crawford County Day production being put on to benefit The Children's Hospital in Columbus - I know it would be a late night for you if you came but it's the 23rd and I know there's no school on the 24th"

"Will you be singing?" Schue asked with growing Interest.

"No, I got there too late for that, But I am part of the stage crew. Costuming to be precisest "

"And just like that Schue lost interest. "You're right." he said. "It would be a late night, but put me down for a Saturday performance, okay?."

"'There's only just the one performance."

"So costuming..," Schue says trying to awkwardly Segue into another the subject. "Since you've been gone Tina has taken over as costume coordinator. When I asked why, she told me you said it was okay and that you were the one who taught her how to sew." 

"I did, and I actually taught both Tina and Mercedes how to sew. And honestly - I wouldn't discount either of them. Tina has loads of creativity, and Mercedes has an eye."

"But you had such a way of making sure we got everything right... And you know Tina? Tina tends to get little flaky the moment she is put to the test. I rather we still had the insurance we had with you."

[Kurt scoffs] "You know, I think that's the closest you've came to complimenting me for all that I do...all I did in The New Directions" Kurt corrects himself. "Too bad it comes at the expense of someone I like."

"What that supposed to mean?"

"It means I miss you guys too - I really do - but sometimes; like right now, and when it come to bullying I am not missing McKinley - Not one bit... Now will you excuse me I need some air." Kurt got out of line at the Buffet and walked past several people who were in line behind him including Artie who was being pushed by Puck. Kurt didn't care. He didn't care that Schue also got out of line to follow him. And he certainly didn't know Artie had also got out of line to tell every one at Table 5 and Table 6 that Kurt had just chewed out Mr. Schue while they were in line

*******

**OUTSIDE THE JCC**

By the time Mercedes found Kurt outside sitting on the edge of a raised cement planter, several minutes had passed. Mercedes didn't know what it was going on only that Kurt was hurting. "Hey Kurt," she started softly in a voice that was as sweet as spun sugar.. "mind if I sit down?"

"No, I don't mind. You can sit down if you like" Kurt said, shifting one side to let Mercedes sit.

"Okay, I am just going to come right out with it - What's going on? We heard it all from from Artie just now that you practically bit Schues head off"

"In matters concerning Schue Artie exaggerates. It's like he idolizes him or something - I actually came out here to avoid chewing Mr. Schue's head off"

"Why, what did he do?" Mercedes was now intrigued enough to hear the other side of the story.

"I think he tried to give me a compliment... only it sounded more like what Schue was doing was mocking Tina - I just didn't want to hear it - Not while I have too many things messing with my head"

"So leaving wasn't really about Mr. Schue?"

"I don't have the room to let Mr. Schue rent space in my head- Although I still think Schue owes Tina an apology."

"When you first got here you hinted that there was something was going...and you said you would tell me later, Can I ask if now is a good time?"

"There will never be a good time or place." Kurt said.

"Is this about what Korofsky did to you?"

"It's about somebody much worse. Ever heard of the term repressed memories?"

"Yeah, isn't that where the brain shuts off to avoid reliving painful memories?"

"Well, I got that. Until two days ago I had forgotten something that happened;" Kurt clinched his fists "Something so FUCKED up." he said loudly, his nails were now digging into his palms as he clinched his hands tighter. "that it's been messing with my head ever since my memory of it came back...because I think if I can forget something like that; something so bad, - what if there's more? And because I shut this off I can't help but think like I let my dad down and how I feel like I've been lying to him all this time. But then I also feel like if I told him now I could lose him either because the news would kill him or because he would be too ashamed of me to love me anymore."

"First of all Kurt, That's not going to happen. You like have the greatest dad - Everybody in glee loves him. And while I might think that God listened to our prayers and brought him back to us - It was just as probable your dad's love of you that pulled him back from his stroke. I get that. And I get that he'll always love you. Secondly it sounds like you are blaming yourself for something that might not be fault. Normally in this case I would be saying **_'Let go and let God'_** "

"I don't believe in god" Kurt said frankly.

"I know that. if you can't let God be the one to help you - find somebody who can help you get through all this."

"That's the point, I did. And now he's going to file a police report"

"I see, when you said it was bad you really meant that it was BAD!"

"I was sexually assaulted Mercedes. Kyle Daniels and his goons took my horn dipped it into a dirty toilet and they forced it down my throat and they pulled back and forth across my tongue -like I was..." Kurt tried to say it again a different way, "Like he was...." Kurt couldn't say it either way. But he didn't need to - Between Kurt's tears now falling on his cheeks Mercedes had already guess.

"You can stop now Kurt, I get the picture"

"Things got worse because I cried they decided to strip my pants down too because they thought maybe I might be a girl...when they saw I wasn't they called me a cock-sucking faggot and punched me in the gut."

"Oh Kurt this is awful, I didn't know."

"Up until Thursday neither did I. And you know what's worse in all this...not recalling the treats to beat the shit out of me if I told anyone...Nor feeling so badly that I wanted to end my life...but I now I think I might know who called my dad last year during the Diva Off with Rachel."

"Who? You only told me you blew the note on purpose because of a crank - You never said that you knew who it was."

The caller ID had a 979 Texas area code. As much as I know it could be a coincidence ... I also think if could have been him still trying to come after me."

"Okay, Assuming you are right, how could he have found out if he was there in Texas and you were here"

"I don't know maybe Dan Murphy clued him in....They were tight two years ago...And last year Dan was a senior and that time they attacked me he was the one who held my mouth open...Mercedes? Why me?"

"Try being one of the only black girls at McKinley in a town of mostly small minded bigots - Sorry I am not trying to minimize your truth"

"Nor am I"

"You are my friend and I love you. Just know I'll be there for you" Mercedes leaned in for a hug, one Kurt didn't want to let go from.

"hmmmm, You always give such warm hugs"

Schuester who had followed Kurt out for rebut of their confrontation but he was now waffling on the pavement holding his forehead in guilt. He had already heard more than what he had expected and worse Schue also knew Dan Murphy. Dan's senior year he was in his last period Spanish class...Schue remembered telling his afternoon class that with the whole choir in wheelchairs Thursday's class would be cut short by 15 minutes so everybody could be ready for Diva-off. He told his class everything from which two challengers would be performing - to what song they would be singing. And did he hear right? Kurt blew the note on purpose? Because Kurt was being harassed? And now Schue was facing the hard fact of it...he might have been the conduit. From his safe distance behind a hedge of red cedar Mr. Schue was straining more than ever to hear all of what Kurt had to say.

"Look," Kurt started up again "I don't want to mess up Rachel's party or at least be the one blamed for it. You should probably go back inside." Kurt insisted. "I'll be alright"

Mercedes naturally objected. "I am not going to leave you out here to be by yourself - If I go in you are coming back inside with me. I wont have it any other way...and besides I need a witness; Rachel is being so incredible nice today... when she switches back I need someone who was there to say it really happened."

Kurt giggled "How come you are always so nice to me?" Kurt asked.

Mercedes lovingly answered back "Because you have always been so nice to me back...and maybe it's because I don't need any bells and whistles to say you're my best friend...I just know it"

You're my best friend as well Kurt beamed. And thought how tThe world could be falling apart and all Mercedes had to do was smile. What Kurt didn't know was Mercedes wasn't the only one who followed him out. Puck and Finn did also. They had been waiting for a time to approach and now seemed to be that time.

Kurt, buddy," Kurt looked up and saw it was Puck standing there with Finn "I am sorry. I was a total douchebag" Puck confessed. - We should have never done that to you and I am sorry I missed that catch on purpose and broke your trumpet"

"Tuba" Finn interjected, thinking he was correcting Puck.

"Guys,: Kurt said with a roll of his eyes. "it's was a French horn, and you didn't break it Puck. You put a couple dents in it where it hit the wall then the floor, but that whole mouthpiece detaches for cleaning."

"Whatever dude. Finn and I both decided we want to make this right with you...Isn't that right Finn"

"Totally" Finn said. He didn't want to let on the come Christmas day his French Horn would be fixed.

"I only want one thing," Kurt said. "I want for you guys to stop terrorizing us; this means stop throwing Slushies in our faces...stop giving us swirlies in the bathrooms, or throwing us into dumpsters...and pity sake stop feeling that it's okay to walk right by someone when they are being bullied...For me it was like saying I deserved it. I don't"

Mr. Schuester's eyes narrowed. If he wasn't feeling smaller before, he had felt Kurt's last words cut through him as if they had been directly leveled on him. It put him on the spot because anything he now said would expose him as either a hypocrite or a guilty party. Will gave a throat clearing cough. He knew it was a mistake as soon as he saw all eyes turn to look at him. Schue had to say something now, no backing away from it....only what came out was to dismiss it all together "It's Rachel's day...How about we all just head back inside."


End file.
